


Mother

by clubs14



Category: Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Asgard, BAMF Freya, BAMF Frigga (Marvel), BAMF Loki (Marvel), F/M, Fighting for the crown, Funeral, Hearing Voices, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Intersex Jotunn (Marvel), Intersex Loki (Marvel), Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Loki and Thor Are Not Related, M/M, Miscarriage, Odinsleep (Marvel), POV Freya, POV Frigga, POV Loki (Marvel), Prison, Protective Frigga (Marvel), Protective Thor (Marvel), Protective freya, Royal Wedding, Seiðr, Shapeshifting, Sneaky Frigga (Marvel), Suicidal Thoughts, The Royal Family of Asgard, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:34:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24049774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clubs14/pseuds/clubs14
Summary: Frigga and Freya have always had a contentious relationship especially when it comes to who will rule Asgard after Odin. Both believe their own son to be the better choice.  Odin hasn't picked a side yet.Now Frigga is bringing Loki into the fold, he seems insignificant to most but Freya knows better. She has seen what he is capable of in her nightmares. Too bad it will take more then nightmares to convince everyone else.
Relationships: Balder/Nanna (Marvel), Freya/Odin, Loki/Thor (Marvel), Past Frigga/Odin
Comments: 47
Kudos: 206
Collections: Fics I Don't Want To Lose





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is inspired by Norse Mythology but doesn't follow it super closely. For example Frigga is Odin's first wife and Thor is her only biological child. Freya is Odin's second wife and Balder is her only child.

Frigga had many plans for her life and she liked to think that she had done her best to achieve all of them. She had married the King and had a son, those were the easy parts; the much harder part came after when he decided he wanted a younger wife and she too had a son. Her place in court was of course still hers, being a diplomat didn’t just disappear because you were no longer the Queen. The people of Asgard still regarded her with favour and she knew that they respected her even above the King at times. 

For that reason she felt it her duty to make sure the people of Asgard had the best King possible, naturally her son. He was first born and had been a strong fighter since he was small. Now she could admit in confidence that he wasn’t the best at being a diplomat, but that only meant she needed to find the right future Queen that could play the part that she was so good at. Someone that would be beneficial for Asgard and that would do as she wished, they would be marrying her son after all. 

That was the initial purpose for her current humanitarian mission. She had searched all the other Realms and found no one suitable. Jotunhiem was of course her last choice, though things were starting to look better once she had arrived. They were desperate for any kind of aid she could provide and it was very easy to slip in and out of conversations. After only a month she had finally found the perfect future Queen. 

Unfortunately he was currently being held as a prisoner in the dungeons.

“Loki.” Her voice is gentle and she moves with purpose right up to the bars of the tiny cell. Unlike most of the giants he is small and weak, but it is the seiðr thrumming around him that told her he was the right one. He will be able to change faces and slip around the palace even easier than her. 

“What do you want?” He stands in the shadows defiance clear in his voice, she knows the reason for his imprisonment has something to do with tricking the head of the guard. A pattern with him and a reason why they are so eager to be rid of him.

“I just want to talk about the possibility of your release. No one deserves to spend their whole life in a cage.” When he finally steps out of the shadows she can see that all the bravado is for nothing, he is gaunt and young. All it takes is a motherly smile in his direction and he approaches her, hand outstretched. 

“And what would you get in return?”

“Another child of course.” Carefully she grasps his hand running her thumb in slow gentle circles. That’s all it takes to convince him to move even closer, they would be hugging if the bars weren’t in the way. Oh yes, he will definitely do whatever she asks. “Come now, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Loki lets her brush his hair and eagerly changes into all the finery that Asgard has to offer, once he’s ready she has to admit that he looks a little better. There is still however the matter of making sure he understands everything that will be expected of him once he’s in Asgard.

“Come sit with me.” She pats the spot next to her watching him spin in front of the mirror clearly taken with his new appearance. When he sits down he is close enough that their shoulders brush. “Now, once we're back in Asgard you will have to be on your best behaviour. In exchange I will be giving you lessons on how to better control your seiðr, and of course how best to go about running the palace.” 

“You mean for me to rule?” When she nods he looks confused. “Why?” 

“Because I see your potential Loki, you will make a great Queen and I know you will do what is necessary.” 

“And the people of Asgard will just accept a jotunn as a Queen.” Frigga can read the pain behind his words and she makes sure to wrap an arm around him pulling him in close, he goes willingly enough. 

“They won’t know.” He gaps at her looking down at his own hands as they change from indigo to white. “This will stay between the two of us, do you understand?” He nods before rushing back over to the mirror in order to get a better look. Frigga can’t help but smile as he runs shaky hands over his face. 

When they finally arrive in Asgard Loki is a bundle of nerves practically vibrating next to her. 

“I’ve only ever heard stories of how grand it is, I never imagined it to be this breathtaking.” He starts to wander off before she pulls him in close. Odin will be arriving shortly with his young wife and they need to be as presentable as possible. 

“Listen closely, When the King and Queen come to greet us I need you to be on your best behaviour. They can’t suspect anything.” 

“Of course my Lady.” She lets the cheek slide for now, knowing all too well that if he stays like that Queen Freya won't like him at all. 

“Ah, Frigga you made it safely back I see.” The Queen is adorned in red and gold, and her hair is as immaculate as ever. She has always cared too much about her appearance in Frigga’s opinion, endless hours spent getting ready and fretting over how her clothes look. Now when Frigga was Queen she actually spent time amongst the people, providing aid and speaking with them. This at least meant that to this day she was more beloved then any new Queen would ever be. “Who is this?” Freya’s voice already holds an air of disgust. 

“This is Loki, he will be learning the art of seiðr here at the palace, as well as taking on my duties while I’m away.” Freya flashes her a look when Loki steps forward extending a hand just how she instructed him to.

When she does finally take it she makes sure to smile sweetly at him. “Such a gentleman. I’m sure you will settle into the palace very easily.” The last part is whispered in his ear. Frigga makes sure to keep her face neutral, this is the way of the new Queen, always trying to win favour with her beauty and soft voice. 

“I plan to, your highness.” His smile is wicked as Freya nods to them both before spinning around in a flurry of fabric and leading them back towards the palace. That night Frigga is certain Odin will hear of this new intruder in the palace and all the ways that he has been brought as a spy on her behalf. Of course there will be truth to these claims but Odin will not heed her words just as he never did hers. If there is one thing that she can rely on, it is the foolishness of her ex-husband. 

Within a day she is proven correct as Odin requests her presence in the throne room. The hall is large and echo’s with every step she takes. Normally when it is full of spectators it has less of an air of intimidation to it. That is of course the main purpose for him calling her here of all places. She is meant to feel small and insignificant. 

“You requested my presence All-Father.” 

“Freya tells me that you have brought on a new student, is this true?” 

“Yes, his name is Loki, he has a natural talent for seiðr . I have wanted to impart my knowledge on someone more capable for a number of years now.” 

“Don’t play dumb with me Frigga, I know who his parents are, do you know how few runts there are on Jotuniheim?” 

“Not many I am sure. I should think that would be all the more reason to keep him close.” 

“You really think you can control him?” 

“Of course, you didn’t see him in that prison cell. He will keep his mouth shut and after how he was treated there he will work all the harder here.” 

After a couple minutes of staring each other down she finally breaks and asks him the question that is weighing heavy on her mind. “Does the All-Mother know?” 

“Of course she doesn't know, and I plan to keep it that way.” Having reached as much of an understanding as they can she turns to leave before being called back by Odin. “I expect to see you both at dinner tonight. No need to prolong the introductions.” 

Dinner is a sprawling feast of numerous meats and plenty of mead. She is seated where she is expected on the left side of the table with Thor on her right and Loki on her left. Odin is of course at the head with Freya on his right and Balder next to her. Freya looks less smug at least, still eyeing Loki warily when she thinks no one is looking. 

Odin starts the feast by calling attention to Loki and encouraging him to stand and bow to the assembled table. She can’t help but sigh as his bow remains far too stiff and Freya gains some of her typical mirth back at his expense. Thor remains completely oblivious next to her as he grins broadly in Loki’s direction. 

The dinner itself is filled with the mindless chatter that it typically is with it more often than not meandering it’s way back to how skilled Balder is at various things ranging from poetry to riding. When Loki speaks up next to her after a particularly ridiculous story about Balder taming a wild stallion, she can’t help but hold her breath. If this goes badly then she will be forced to find a new Queen. 

“It sounds like your talents with poetry are able to soothe even the most frightening of wild beasts, for who among us could possibly overcome the sheer terror of horses. Some may run in fear but not you, no horse can scare you.” Loki’s tone is light and dripping with sarcasm, Frigga can’t resist scanning the table, Freya is appropriately scandalised as it was her tale that is being scrutinised. Odin seems calm merely shaking his head and hiding a smile. It is the reactions of the two possible heirs that she waits on. Thor only takes a beat to respond and when he does it is with booming laughter, Balder seeing the reaction of his older brother and the look on his mother's face follows soon after. 

Frigga lets out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding, now that the tension has been broken the conversation flows easily between the two half brothers and Loki. Frigga happily sits back and enjoys the ridiculous turns of the conversation, Freya remains silent throughout. 

By the time she is ready to leave for her own chambers she feels confident that she made the right choice in picking Loki.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki loved Asgard, it was full of so much gold and lavish fabrics, even the food tasted sweeter. His room in the palace was much larger than any he had been given in the past and he had lived with giants then. Frigga had made sure that all of his clothes were tailored to fit him perfectly and had jewellery sent to his room on top of that. He couldn’t resist trying on a number of the items admiring his new face in the mirror. How was it that only a week ago he was locked away in a prison cell under hundreds of feet of snow? Now he looked like royalty which was of course the point. Frigga hadn’t been super clear on what she expected of him only that he would be like a child of hers and would of course be learning more seiðr. He was certain that there was more to it then that and that if he did fail to live up to her expectations then he would be revealed as a jotunn and promptly killed or sent back. Obviously neither option was ideal which is why he made sure to be on his best behaviour when she called upon him.

“Come in and sit down.” Frigga’s tone was strict and he obeyed silently. “Now that you’ve been introduced to the royal family tell me what you think.” 

“Your All-Father is very commanding though I can tell he has a sense of humour and loves both his sons equally.” 

“He is your All-Father now too, please continue.” She still hadn’t turned around from her spot in front of the mirror. Loki sighed focusing on what he thought she would want to hear. 

“The All-Mother is strict and paranoid. I could tell as soon as I met her that she didn’t like me and I feel certain that she is plotting on a way to get rid of me.” Finally Frigga turns and looks at him approvingly. 

“No she doesn't like you at all, and that will never change, do you know why?” 

“Because she doesn't like you.” He wants to add more but holds his tongue watching her finally rise from her spot in front of the mirror and sit next to him. He does his best not to flinch away when she takes his hand. 

“Exactly. Now what do you think of the princes?” 

“They both seem kind and I’m sure they are both capable in battle.” When he stops she encourages him to keep going with a firm nod. “From all the tales of Balder I can tell that he loves everyone and everyone loves him. He is gentle and handsome but also foolish, he will follow the words of others so completely that he could end up causing a lot of problems for Asgard. All it takes is one bad adviser and he will be led astray.” Frigga looks pleased at his words, of course she doesn't like the child of her ex-husband and his young wife. 

“You are very good at reading people Loki, unfortunately he never had to face any hard choices. He has lived a very privileged life of love and harmony. That’s what makes him so naive. Now what do you think of Thor?” This is the hard part, Thor is her son after all and as such she will expect him to be more charitable.

“He seems brash and commanding, I am sure he will make a great King one day.” Frigga eyes him closely face blank, before breaking into a smile.

“My son is unfortunately also foolish and spoiled just like Balder, though in time I believe he will make a great King.” 

After that the lessons begin promptly and Loki loses himself to the familiar feeling of seiðr flowing through him. 

For months this continues until he feels much more powerful and also much closer to Frigga, she had started out as a mother figure to be feared and now he finds himself holding her closer then he has any right to. It is hard to resist after years of neglect. No one has ever been as kind to him as she is, through her he is shown the many possibilities for a brighter future. 

It does however still catch him off guard when the year ends and she insists that he meet her in the library. He has of course spent some time there in the past reading up on Asgard's version of the past. Though there was little truth to be found and he soon stopped going. 

“Come here Loki.” She is crouched over some important looking documents when he makes his way towards her. “Read this and tell me what you think.” He reads it over carefully knowing all too well that this is yet another one of her tests. It is just some mindless complaints from a number of Asgardians who are mad about the upcoming war. It has been brewing for a while and Loki knows better than anyone that Asgard will lay ruin to the opposing forces easily. Any complaints made by the future victors sit’s heavy with him. How can they complain about being sent to a grand victory when the other side will be sent to death and loss. 

“I think they choose things to complain about because they are growing bored and restless with the never-ending victories. What they need is a pat on the back for their services and a grand tournament to take out their frustrations on each other.” Frigga’s smile is radiant when she looks at him and he wonders if this is how she always looks at her own son. 

“That is a very good idea. So good in fact that Odin plans on announcing a tournament later today. I will mention the medals as a reward for those that are truly gifted in battle. From now on your lessons will include more politically minded topics on running a Kingdom.” Loki knows the shock must show on his face because Frigga laughs light and bright before adding. “You have earned it Loki.” 

The tournament ends up being a couple weeks later right before the soldiers have to leave, the idea is of course to get them all riled up for the future battles that will be a lot more life threatening. Both heir’s are of course going to participate, though Loki feels confident that Balder is only doing so to make his parents happy. He may be great at poetry but he isn’t the best on the battlefield. No Loki feels confident in his prediction of Thor winning the entire thing. Frigga obviously shares his opinion because she has been in a great mood all week. 

Right now he is seated in the top box with a perfect view of the entire field, Frigga is next to him and just above them Odin sits in his throne next to Freya. There are other nobles around them but he has only met most of them in passing as most of his time has been spent studying. Perhaps when he’s older he will be allowed to take part in court. 

The tournament starts with two men that he has never seen before and honestly has no interest in seeing now. The rest follow the same pattern until closer to the end when Balder makes his way out to the sound of the loudest cheers of the night. He faces off against the previous winner who seems less than keen to take on the prince. The battle is more entertaining in the sense that Loki can clearly tell that the soldier is deliberately holding back. It only takes a couple obvious fumbles for Balder to be declared victor. 

Behind them Freya jumps to her feet cheering and throwing some flowers down towards the field. When Loki turns he can see Odin still seated expression blank behind his overly excited wife. No wonder Frigga finds her so insufferable, in the time since he’s known her she’s done nothing but sing Balder’s praises.

The finale battle of the night is of course between the two princes, everyone around him seems to hold their breath when Thor steps out. Loki can’t fathom why, it’s incredibly obvious who is going to win, even if Thor doesn't have his hammer no one is a match for him. The brothers face off on opposing sides before rushing forwards and crashing in the middle. Loki can’t resist leaning forward far more interested in this fight then any of the previous ones. Even if he knows the outcome it doesn't make the show any less exciting. Next to him Frigga grins in his direction clearly thinking the same thing. 

Thor does a couple quick moves in succession sending Balder back near the edge of the field. Balder at least manages to roll out of the way, ending up directly behind him. On any other opponent this would be good against Thor it barely matters. Their swords crack one more time and the mere force of it sends Balder backwards. Thor is on him in a second pushing him down into the ground. The crowd cheers as Thor steps back up before reaching a hand down to his brother, they share a grin. Loki sneaks a look behind him at Freya’s annoyed face, before watching Thor receive a prolonged round of applause. He looks out into the crowd, eyes searching for someone in particular before Loki swears they settle on him. That can’t be right. Thor is always surrounded by beautiful maidens there’s no way he would be interested in him. 

“Come on Loki, it's time to congratulate the victors.” He shakes himself looking at Frigga and nodding. Something feels off, is there something in play that he missed? Perhaps Freya said something to try and make him screw up. 

He barely pays any attention to any of the soldiers that he is congratulating, most of them don’t care anyway, attention focused on the King and Queen. It isn’t until they reach the two princes that Loki really tries to pick up on something that might be different. Balder clasps his arm shaking him and beaming through the mud. Loki can’t help but make a face as his beautiful sleeve is coated in mud. 

“You should join in next time Loki, I’m sure you are great in battle.” He is of course trying to be kind though that doesn't prevent him from biting back. 

“Well seeing as they don’t allow seiðr in these battles that seems very unlikely.” It is ridiculous how little Asgardian's think of seiðr when their own King is so skilled.

“Loki! Did you enjoy the show?” Thor pushes forward interrupting them and Loki can’t help but eye him warily. 

“You fought very well, though I admit I already knew you would win.” 

“It is true that you are the greatest warrior in all of Asgard brother.” Thor barely turns at Balder’s words instead eyeing Loki. 

“Well in that case I would like to give this to you as a gift.” Loki watches in shock as one of the prizes Thor received is placed around his own neck instead. After it’s in place he winks and Loki can feel his face heat up despite his best intentions. Someone definitely put him up to it, Balder seems to disagree as he shakes his head. 

“Well I’ll give you two some space.” 

Loki can feel his heart race as Thor steps closer, intent clear on his face, he knows what is about to happen before they are interpreted by Freya of all people.

“Everyone is on their way to the feast, come along now.” She slides her arm around Loki practically dragging him along with her. “Don’t think for a second that I don’t know what you and Frigga are plotting.” The words are barely above a whisper.


	3. Chapter 3

Freya was a Vanir first and foremost even being the Queen of Asgard hadn’t changed that, though she loved her husband and son dearly. There were still days where she longed for her own people; they understood her in a way that no one in Asgard ever could even her sweet son. This fact had never seemed more obvious then it was now that Loki was brought to her home. As much as her husband and Frigga claimed he was of no concern, just someone naturally gifted in seiðr with a quick mind. 

She of course knew Frigga better than that, she was a stubborn clever woman who was playing the long game. That game obviously ended with Thor on the throne and Balder regulated to the sidelines, or dead. She couldn’t shake the feeling that this could all too easily end with Balder’s death. Most people would say she was paranoid but once her nightmares started with Loki’s arrival she felt certain that they were a glimpse into the future. She was a psychic in many ways and her dreams had never been wrong in the past. They had shown her her wedding and time in Asgard, now they were showing her the death of her only son. 

So she was keeping a close eye on Loki and of course Frigga. Frigga had always been revered in court despite her no longer being Queen, something that had always been a source of contention. An outsider would never be able to compete with someone known and loved since childhood by everyone she came in contact with. Sometimes Freya felt like she was the only one not completely blinded by that. 

“Odin, we need to talk about what I saw earlier today.” She was trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible but he still looked up at her with an expression that said he knew where this conversation was going.

“What is it?” 

“I’m sure you noticed who Thor gave his prize too.” 

“I did notice yes.” 

“And you don’t have a problem with that? Another man Odin, it’s not like they can have children. He certainly can’t marry him.” Odin stepped closer to her wrapping his arms around her. 

“Now if I tell you something it has to stay between us.” 

“Of course.” She turned in his arms smiling sweetly up at him, it never failed to make any resolve he might have break. 

“Loki isn’t built like typical Asgardians, he is more than capable of having children.” 

“What! How is that possible? He’s not Asgardian is he?” When Odin merely sighed she pulled back twisting in order to face him. “He is a jotunn runt, isn't he?” 

“Yes. But understand that this has to stay between the two of us.” 

“Of course husband. I only have one more question, do you plan on having your oldest son marry him?” 

“I do not plan for any such things. If Loki learns to be a competent diplomat and starts sitting in on court meetings then perhaps. Until then he is nothing but a talented magician that Frigga decided to take under her wing.” Which is his way of saying this is Frigga’s doing. 

The following day all the soldiers assemble to leave for battle Thor is amongst them but not her dear Balder. He had begged to go and been turned away, her doing of course, though he doesn't know that. It’s better he stays at the palace anyway and improves his confidence in court. Let Thor fight Asgard's pointless battles while her son gets better at actually running a Kingdom. 

She can’t resist watching Frigga closely from across the crowd, she is saying her tearful goodbyes no doubt. Thor is certainly holding her close before stepping back and grabbing one of Loki’s hands to place a kiss there. Freya can feel the bile rise, at least Loki seems to be just as lost. Whatever ridiculous plan Frigga has concocted he is just as in the dark as she is. 

“Do you think the war will last long?” Balder’s voice right next to her makes her pull her eyes away from the show across the field. He has that sorrowful look on his face that she has grown used to seeing since she told him about her nightmares. Of course she never mentioned that it was Loki behind his untimely death. Even as the Queen of Asgard you couldn’t just blame someone for a crime not yet committed.

“I’m sure it will be over sooner than expected, Thor is a very good fighter after all.” 

“Still, I wish I could go with them. It doesn't seem right that I get to stay behind while they go off and fight.” 

“I know my dear. This is for the best though, you need to get better at running the Kingdom, one day it will be yours after all.” 

“Of course mother.” She can tell he’s thinking about his predicted untimely death again. She hates the pain that seems to always be hidden just below the surface. Her son had been so full of joy for so long and now he is fading away. 

“Why don’t you visit that lovely girl Nanna after this, it has been awhile since you last visited her.” At the mere mention of her name he instantly brightens up.

“It has been too long. Thank you mother.” He hugs her close and she can’t resist smelling his hair before he pulls away and runs off. Unlike Frigga she lets her son choose who he wants to marry. Love is more important than alliances that end in two miserable people, Frigga need only look at her own marriage to understand that. 

That night at dinner it is more quiet than normal with Thor gone off to battle, and Balder off with Nanna. She is still seated next to Odin and Frigga is still across from her with Loki on her left, everything else may as well be completely different. 

“I noticed you got a special goodbye from Thor today.” She watches his face closely, normally he is so collected and calm making it all the more gratifying when a blush rises on his cheeks. 

“He was being kind, I’m sure.” Loki finally looks up at her still pushing his fork around on his plate. 

“Nonsense, Thor isn’t typically like that with just anyone.” She makes sure to turn to Frigga next “you must be special.” 

“Well he is certainly getting better at seiðr. I’m not sure if Odin mentioned that he would be starting to learn more on the political side of running a Kingdom. Perhaps once he’s ready he will even find a place in court.” Even after her praise Loki eyes his food warily doing his best to look disinterested. Freya smiles, he may be clever in some ways but he still has a lot to learn. 

“He had mentioned that he would be taking on more responsibilities, what with so many good men off to war. We will need all the help we can get, won't we Loki?”

“Yes of course your highness.” This time when he looks up at her his face is more controlled. It is too late though she knows he hopes to be Thor’s. Whether from Frigga’s encouragement or his own desire it doesn't matter. They both want to see him on the throne next to Thor and she isn’t about to let that happen.


	4. Chapter 4

Frigga storms out of the dinning hall when dinner is finished, Loki on her heels. It’s not the first time Freya has pushed her to her limits. Normally she can sit still and rebuke her insinuations, not this time. Freya already strongly believes that Loki will kill her son and now that she knows about Frigga’s plans with him she wont stop until she puts an end to it. In the past Frigga would never assume her capable of murdering someone, now she isn’t so sure. 

“Loki, you will be spending the night in my chambers, do you understand?” He is racing to keep up with her quick pace but he nods when she turns, nearly running into her in the process. She gives him some credit when he waits until they are safely behind her closed door before asking any questions. 

“What the Hel was that about? Why do I get the feeling you're not telling me everything that’s going on?” Frigga crosses the room closing the curtains forcefully before gesturing to the bed. He merely glares at her arms crossed. She studies his face closer and sees the fear and hurt in his eyes. 

“I merely spoke with Thor in regards to his future.” 

“So his actions at the tournament were all suggestions by you? Or am I still in the dark?” 

Frigga takes a deep breath sitting down on the bed and rubbing her eyes, Freya was definitely going to be proud of herself. “I did mention it to him, but he was already interested, Loki. I just gave him a push in the right direction. We talked about this in Jotunheim.” 

“We did. I still expected you to give me a heads up first. I looked so foolish.” His voice breaks on the last part and Frigga uses all the restraint she has left not to pull him into a hug. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think he was planning to do anything at the tournament. Believe it or not he doesn't consult his mother first before making grand romantic gestures.” Loki looks at her then eyes bright and when she puts her arms around him he goes willingly clinging tightly to her. She finds herself very gently running her hands through his dark hair and whispering sweet words into his ear. Freya may believe he will be the death of her son, but she chooses to see the best in him. All he really needs is someone to take care of him. 

The next couple days are full of lessons, in a lot of ways Frigga is treating Loki as if he’s the daughter she never had with how close they are. He even lets her braid his hair and tie it off with her own cherished ribbons. He looks much happier in his lessons and even manages to notice things that other members of the court completely overlook. With a couple more years of lessons she feels confident in his abilities of running things. 

On one particular lesson Balder is also present as some of the things they are being taught overlap. They are seated side by side studying and she can tell from a mere glimpse that Loki is catching on much faster than the prince. Balder has always been too compassionate while Loki does not hold back. So when she asks them to share what they would do if a number of Asgardians were held at ransom by enemy forces, their answers are somewhat expected. 

“I would make sure the captured Asgardians were realised by paying the ransom and then all who stand accused would face charges for their crimes.” 

“Don’t be foolish, they would never just accept the money and then hand them over, you can’t give in to the demands of your opponent. What you need to do is make it clear that what they have done is unacceptable and won't be rewarded. They can kill the prisoners if they want but then their punishments will be much harsher when they are caught.” Balder looks appalled and Frigga has to call both of their attention back to her with a wave. 

“Balder you can’t treat your enemies with kindness otherwise they will walk all over you. Loki, there is no need to encourage them to kill the prisoners though it is always good to make it clear that you have the upper hand and murder carries a much greater consequence then kidnapping.” Loki looks smug, he knows she is being overly unkind to Balder. 

“So you wouldn’t care if a number of good people were killed when you could stop it?” Balder looks between them accusingly. Frigga is more than used to his idealism though it hasn’t gotten any less tiresome.

“Of course we would care, but that doesn't negate our responsibility to the rest of Asgard.” 

“I’m sure my mother would disagree. The Vanir after all value the lives of all their people.” Frigga bites her tongue. It's always been better to let him be then make things any worse between her and Freya. Loki of course has no qualms about speaking up. 

“And look where that’s got them, they are subservient to Asgard sending their own princess there in exchange for protection. They don’t have to worry about war or blood shed because Asgard does it for them.” Frigga has to turn away in order to hide her smile, Loki really is proving to be a quick learner. 

“My mother is a Queen because she chose to come here, I would think you of all people would understand that. Or are you not hoping to marry Thor?” 

“I don’t know where you came up with that. I haven’t done anything to encourage his affections, anything that he has done is his own choosing.” 

“All right enough, I think that wraps up lessons for today.” With that they both got to their feet Balder heading straight for the door. She felt certain that Freya would hear about everything Loki said and hate him all the more for it. There is a certain amount of pride she feels at that. She hopes Freya is uncomfortable and concerned for the future, because while Balder wouldn't be dying he definitely wasn't going to be King. 

The longer the war continued the more Frigga found herself getting anxious. It was like this during every war that Thor had gone off to fight in, her rational mind knew he would be fine but she still found herself sick with worry the longer it dragged on. Sitting at dinner with Freya and Balder every night only proved to make things harder. Freya acted as if her son was above the wars of his own kingdom, never having to get his own hands dirty. 

The only thing that made this time different was Loki, he was always near her helping with anything he could. She would never admit to anyone just how much he helped her while Thor was away. She even found herself doting on him more than she ever did with Thor. He now owned more lavish gowns then most in court along with the most elegant jewels she could find. Originally she tried to convince herself that it was a way of making him appear more like the rest of the royal family; but the truth was that she loved seeing him happy. The gaunt frost giant from the prison cell had all but disappeared by the time she finally got word that the war was coming to a close and the troops would be on their way back home. Another victory for Asgard won. 

“Did you hear the good news Frigga?” Freya asked as she approached her. She was currently reading in her own private garden. Freya knew to never disturb her here. 

“Yes I did.” Loki looked up from where he was currently seated near some roses eyeing Freya with annoyance. All it took was a nod from her and he was up and on his way towards her. 

“Your majesty.” He nodded when he got closer, even going as far as to bow. “I’m sure you're aware that this is a private garden.” 

“Yes of course, I merely wanted to pass along the message of Thor’s safe return.” Freya eyed him scanning his current well fitted gown with barely disguised disgust. 

“I thought there were servants for such tasks.” 

“Yes, all the more reason that it’s more meaningful when the Queen herself does it. You should really change before making an appearance. Wouldn’t want to give it all away.” With that she spun around heading for the gate. Frigga took one look at Loki’s pursed lips and stood up. 

“We wouldn’t want anyone to steal your tactics now would we. No one can outshine the Queen.” Freya merely continued on her way slamming the gate closed behind her.


	5. Chapter 5

Loki spent hours in front of the mirror on the day that the big feast was scheduled for the returning troops. He wanted everything to be perfect for when he saw Thor again. In the end he had his hair pulled up and braided with gold and a long silk gown that cling tightly to his slight frame. He had gotten used to his pale skin and green eyes by this point and couldn’t help admiring how they looked with the clothes of Asgardian royalty. 

When he saw Frigga after finally leaving his room she gave an approving smile before placing her arm around his.

“You look lovely.” 

When they reached the feast hall Freya was the first to notice, eyeing his clothing skeptically before ushering them over to the high table. Loki took his usual place on Frigga’s left as they watched the warriors enter the feast hall. They were all in high spirits laughing and clapping each other on the back. A number of them even looked over at him clearly taken aback by his change in appearance. He maintained his calm as best as he could, face neutral as Thor finally appeared surrounded by his friends. His smile was so bright Loki almost felt blinded when it landed on him, lighting his whole body up with it’s warmth. His meager grin in return was surely nothing in comparison. Why the oldest prince would hold any interest in him seemed silly when he watched the way all the ladies turned to thank him. 

The feast officially started after Odin finished his speech. Thor ended up sitting with his friends instead of his normal place next to his father. He was clearly having a great time if the booming laughter was anything to go by. Everyone at the head table was more subdued in comparison, he found himself drinking more mead in order to pass the time. 

After they were done eating the dancing started up and it took everything in him to remain seated and calm. Let him come to you. He will if he is really interested. Of course maybe he would just spend the night with all his friends, one of them being a very pretty woman with dark hair. She would probably love to dance with the prince if the looks she was sending his way were anything to go by. 

Once the dancing officially started Freya was the first to get up with Balder following shortly after. Balder had a pretty girlfriend, Loki thought her name was Nanna. The two of them had become almost inseparable in the last couple months and he was expecting them to announce an engagement any day now. Freya on the other hand wove through the warriors thanking them each in turn and causing a stir as they eyed her appreciatively. 

Loki waited patiently even as Odin and Frigga got up to speak amongst the people, leaving him behind. The table felt much bigger and he was just about to give up and leave when Thor walked towards him. 

“Would you like to join me?” He gestured back to the dance floor hand outstretched. For a minute he debated refusing just to see if his face would fall as he was turned down by the only person in the room that would. But of course he was just as lost as the rest of them and ended up accepting. 

They wove through the crowd towards the dance floor where Thor carefully put his hands on his hips pulling him closer. Loki barely noticed the looks being levelled at him as his heart pounded in his chest. Maybe this look had been a bit too much. 

“I missed you while I was away.” He whispered in his ear, Loki found that very unlikely, they hadn’t been that close before he left. Which really meant that he had hoped to take him to bed before leaving. 

“Afraid that I might have moved on while you were away.” Thor merely laughed pulling him in closer. 

“I assumed you would be much too busy with your lessons to pursue someone else.” 

“True, I have been rather busy learning all the ways to best run your Kingdom.” 

“And I don’t doubt you would do an amazing job.” Loki stopped in his tracks, was he really about to propose? Was this a reward from the All-Father and Frigga for his hard work? He still hadn’t been allowed in court and had no idea when they would have had time to tell Thor that now was the time. 

“Loki, are you okay?” 

“Fine. Just thinking about one of my many lessons.” 

“Oh, and what was it about?” 

“Always think a step ahead.” Thor grinned pulling him into a brief kiss before stepping back once more. 

“So you must have expected that then.” When he failed to answer instead only looking shocked, Thor burst out laughing. “It’s okay I’m playing unfair, let me make it up to you and give you ample warning this time.” He then leaned in capturing his lips once more. Loki felt lightheaded whether from the mead or the kiss he couldn’t be sure. All he knew was that there was no way he was letting Thor take over completely he had to know who was in charge. Carefully he turned his head and swiped his tongue along his bottom lip before sticking it inside his mouth. Thor eagerly pulled him closer running his hands up his sides as he went back to sucking on his lip. Things probably would have escalated further if a loud cough didn’t interrupt them. Of course it was Freya, looking very put out.

“Thor, we’ve had this conversation before. That kind of behaviour is fine in your private chambers but not in the feast hall.” Loki knew she was trying to antagonize him which made him all the more annoyed that it worked. 

“Freya, no need to be so uptight. It is a celebration after all.” Thor was still smiling though not nearly as bright as it had been. Loki figured that he had two options: let Freya win and bid Thor goodnight or take him to bed in a way that made it clear to anyone paying attention that he could have the prince if he wanted. Of course his spitefulness won over his inexperience and he pulled Thor closer. 

“You're absolutely right All-Mother, come one Thor, take me to your chambers.” Loki ignored Thor in favour of watching Freya’s look of disgust as he was escorted out the hall by a very excited prince. 

He found it hard to think of anything clever to say as Thor practically dragged him to his rooms. What exactly was he getting himself into? Did Thor even know that he wasn’t really all that much like the average Aesir under the gown? Probably not, it wasn’t really something he had shared with anyone. 

“Thor, you should know something before we do anything.” Oh gods he was shaking. “I’m kind of not completely male or female.” The words were out in a rush as soon as the door shut behind them. 

“I know.” He grinned mischievously before crushing him in another fierce kiss. When he was finally released he stepped back. 

“How could you possibly already know? Don’t tell me Frigga told you.” 

“No of course not. I just assumed you were because you came back with my mother from Jotunheim and you always dress differently from the other men. I want to do this with you Loki, I don’t care what you look like.” That was obviously a lie Loki was sure that if he saw his true jotunn form he would be repulsed just like all the other Asgardians. 

“Alright.” He reached up and pulled his hair down before undoing the gown and stepping out of it. Thor watched him in silence, eyes roaming up and down taking in all the newly revealed skin. 

“You look beautiful.” 

“Your turn.” Thor merely nodded, stripping down to his underclothes. For the first time since this whole thing started Loki stopped to wonder if he had bathed since coming back. He must have at some point otherwise he would have noticed when they were dancing. 

“Come here.” He reached out and Loki found himself walking cautiously towards the bed, once there he was pulled next to Thor who went right back to kissing him. He was at least a good kisser. Just when he was starting to feel comfortable with where things were going he felt Thor’s hands sliding down his chest. It made him shiver and pull him closer. When his right hand was about to reach his groin Thor moved it rubbing his thigh instead. Loki made sure to run his own hands down his body in return pinching one of his nipples in the process. Thor gasped into his mouth in surprise and he ran his hand down his chest to the tent in his pants. This he at least understood well enough, a couple pulls and a twist of the wrist and Thor was openly moaning into his mouth. 

“Loki….. Loki, stop.” He grabbed his hand stilling it before kissing him once more. “Want to make you feel good first.” With that he was pushed backwards onto the bed, the thin briefs being pulled off. He was just about to protest when he felt Thor close his mouth around him. Well he never would have expected him to know how to do that. Sparks flew through his body as he grabbed Thor’s long hair pulling him closer. When he started doing something with his tongue he felt his legs shake moans and pleas slipping from him and filling the silent room. 

When Thor looked up at him from under his eyelashes he couldn’t hold back any longer body tightening as he threw his head back and let go. Through the haze of his orgasm he could feel Thor swallow a couple times. When he finally slid off, Loki felt boneless and also so incredibly wet, it was a strange feeling. 

Thor was quick to cover his mouth once more, kissing him much slower now as he lowered himself more firmly down. The heat of his body was scorching and Loki was distantly aware of the fact that he was now very much naked. Grinning he rocked his hips up causing Thor to gasp and press down harder. He started up an excruciatingly slow rhythm only allowing the smallest amount of friction. 

“I’m more than ready you know.” He couldn’t hide the annoyance at being left waiting. 

“Yes I had noticed.” Thor grinned as he slipped a finger inside of him. Loki did his best to glare but he couldn’t resist moving his body seeking out whatever friction he could get. Thor let him move for a couple more minutes before pulling his finger out and sitting back. 

Annoyed Loki sat up so that he could better see him as he reached down and touched himself. If Thor didn’t want to help then that was his choice. Pleasure took over his body as he moaned around his own hand. When he dared to open his eyes Thor was staring at him, one look into his eyes and he was back on top of him. Loki could feel him press in finally and found himself clutching his back tighter. He still went slow at first pressing kisses along his neck and running a hand over his chest. It took him moving his hips up to meet every thrust for Thor to pick up the pace until he was slamming him into the mattress. He was so close when Thor bit down on his neck hand playing with one of his nipples. With a shout he came holding Thor even tighter as he felt his body pulse around him. With a couple more frantic movements Thor yelled out before spilling inside him. 

The room felt really quiet with only the sound of their deep breaths as he felt Thor slip out. He was quickly wrapped up in a combination of Thor and blankets. 

“Goodnight Loki.”


	6. Chapter 6

After the feast Freya did her best to keep an eye out for anymore changes in the palace. She was becoming increasingly paranoid that Frigga had other spies in place to insure that everything was going according to plan. Certainly whatever she had said to Thor had made an impact as he was seen with Loki a lot more around the palace and even in the gardens. 

Her own husband didn’t seem to be all that interested in what was going on right under his nose so that left it up to her. Why he wasn’t more invested in who could potentially be the next All-Mother was something she would never understand. Nanna was a kind sweet girl that genuinely cared about all the people around her, she would make an amazing Queen. Loki on the other hand only cared about himself and maintaining Asgard's power over all the other Realms. With Thor next to him she felt certain that Asgard would become even more focused on power, none of the other Realms would stand a chance, including Vanaheim. 

That is why she ended up requesting Nanna’s presence in her private sitting room. She needed to know the truth and the possibility of Balder dying. It was time to move forward with an engagement, that way she could move into the palace full time. 

“Your, highness.” Nanna curtsied before sitting next to her. Tea had been served and she made sure to saviour it before bringing up her concerns.

“Nanna, I’m afraid this isn’t going to be a wholly pleasant visit.” 

“If this is in regards to my time with your son then I must insist that it is his choice and not yours.” Freya smiled sweetly, it would seem there was some fire in her after all. That was a good sign, she would need it. 

“On the contrary, I’m very pleased that he has found someone as kind and nurturing as you. Unfortunately this is about the ongoing nightmares that have been plaguing me.” At that her hand reached out grasping Freya’s. She looked concerned and Freya let go of some of the tension that had slowly been building. Nanna was the first person to take her seriously and she couldn’t help but hold her hand tighter for it. “You see I have had the same nightmare for the past ten years. Every single one plays out the same, a dark figure arrives in Asgard with the same face as Loki. He uses clever words and tricks before killing Balder in cold blood.” 

“You think you're seeing the future?” Nanna’s voice was shaking, her other hand clasping Freya’s arm tightly.

“I know it is the future. That is why I plan on talking to Balder about going ahead with an engagement. I would like to have both of you here at the palace where there can be guards stationed at the door to make sure you both stay safe.” 

“You wish us to be wed?” 

“Yes of course. I think you will make a fine Queen.” Before she could say anything further Nanna was pulling her into a tight hug. Freya wraps her arms around her in return. A weight lifting from her chest, this sweet girl believes her and just having someone else at the palace that does, makes her realize just how lonely she had been. There will still be preparations to make and she will of course have to talk to Balder about when they can announce the engagement. 

After she parts ways with Nanna she goes to Odin in the hopes that he will share her opinion on Nanna moving into the palace as soon as possible. 

“Husband.” 

“Yes.” He smiles at her easily enough but lately she gets the feeling that he is holding back, he still hasn’t given any indication on who his successor will be and she can’t help but worry he has chosen Thor. 

“I spoke with Nanna today, and expressed my hope for a wedding between her and Balder. Having him back here at the palace where he can focus on his duties is important, don’t you think?” 

“Yes of course, he has been spending far too much time with her as of late. He will never make a good King if he can’t focus on his duties.”

“So you think we should encourage him to marry her? It would make him more accepted as All-Father if she was at his side as All-Mother.” At this Odin sighs eyeing her warily.

“You know just as well as Frigga that I have not decided on who my successor will be.” 

“I had hoped that you had made a decision. You have had plenty of time to think about it. You even told me not two years ago that you had hopes for Asgard being more peaceful after your reign. You and I both know that would be much easier achieved with Balder and Nanna in charge.” 

“Perhaps, but they are also ill prepared to deal with war, and unfortunately that has always been a part of Asgard. Thor fought very bravely and all the warriors admire his leadership in battle.” 

“So put him in charge of matters of war and let Balder do what he is meant to... rule.” 

“Balder is not ready for such responsibility yet. Perhaps in time he will be, but I’m not about to decide anything until I am certain.” 

Freya all but stormed out of their chambers; he had always been impossible to sway one way or the other, even when she felt like he was finally coming around to her point of view he would never pick a side. Did he not understand what was at stake? He could end up falling under his ridiculous Odin sleep at any time and with no chosen successor it would be a mess. 

In the end she went ahead with visiting her sweet Balder next, he would be excited to hear that she was more than willing to prepare a wedding for him and Nanna. 

The two of them were in his chambers this time, Balder had been going over some of his lessons when she had requested his presence and was still a little distracted by whatever he had been reading. 

“Is this in regards to your visit with Nanna? She seemed very pleased when I saw her last.” 

“It is, her and I talked about the two of you marrying. I like her a lot and think she would make an incredible Queen.” 

“You’re okay with that? Thor said that the idea of me marrying a commoner was ridiculous and that you would never be okay with it.” 

“Of course I’m okay with it, marriage should be about love not just political alliances. I don’t want you to be forced to do what I was required to.” She grasped his hand pulling it close. She wasn’t surprised that Thor would believe that nonsense when Frigga seemed to hold the same opinion. 

“Thank you mother, I will have to plan out a way of asking her. She deserves the best after all.” He got up and hugged her tightly before rushing for the door. 

“Just make sure you do it soon.” Freya called.


	7. Chapter 7

Frigga arrives at the dining hall early when she gets news of Balder’s engagement to Nanna. It would be the first dinner that she would be allowed to sit with the royal family. Odin and Freya arrived shortly after her, the look on Freya’s face all too smug for someone that just convinced her son to marry a girl with no political experience to speak of. 

“I just heard the good news.” Frigga stands outstretching her hand to Freya who begrudgingly takes it. 

“It is, isn't it, we still haven't decided on a day, but I’m sure it will be soon.” Odin ignores them heading for his place at the head of the table. Frigga takes that as a good sign, if he had been happy with the decision, he would have been more jovial.

When Balder and Nanna take their seats together next to Freya they are giddy with excitement and she can’t help but smile in their direction. She may not like the idea of them ruling Asgard but they are clearly very happy together. 

“How much longer do you think Thor and Loki will be, dinner is growing cold?” Freya asked leaning towards her from across the table. It had been a habit lately for them to be late and even Frigga was starting to find it irritating. 

“We can eat without them.” Odin sighed filling his plate. 

“Quite rude of them though. I was hoping to share the good news at dinner before everyone else finds out.” Nanna said eyeing Balder for support. 

“You know what Thor can be like when he first starts seeing someone, it never lasts though.” Balder said before the door to the hall opened and the two of them finally appeared. Frigga watched with her own thinly veiled annoyance as they finally sat down on either side of her. 

“So glad you could finally join us.” Freya snapped “now we can talk about the good news.” She stopped clearly waiting for Nanna to show off her large ring. 

“Me and Balder are going to be married!” She did not disappoint, extending her hand over the table towards them. It caught the light sending tiny rainbows around the room. 

“I always knew Balder would marry the first woman he fell in love with.” Thor said laughing. 

“Well we don’t all need to chase after every maiden that catches our eye.” Balder meant it as a lighthearted jab and while Thor took it that way Frigga could tell that Loki felt very differently. She would have to talk to Thor after this mess of a dinner was over. 

“I was thinking a summer wedding would be lovely, right after all the summer flowers have bloomed obviously.” Freya said smiling at Nanna. They had certainly gotten close, probably told her all about her insane dreams of Loki murdering Balder. Frigga was sure that Nanna would believe her without question even if everyone else was more sceptical. 

“All of you can be a part of the wedding.” Nanna eyed everyone except Loki, who she had barely glanced at proving Frigga’s suspicions correct. 

“That’s very thoughtful of you Nanna but I’m afraid as I’m not officially a part of the Royal family it would be unnecessary for me to take part. I’m sure you understand.” Loki smiled at her, showing far too much teeth for it to be seen as a kind expression. Nanna opened her mouth as if to retort before promptly shutting it once more. After that dinner was filled with conversations about the wedding, Frigga only tuned in once in a while, instead watching Loki sulk next to her. At least no one else seemed to notice, too busy focused on the prospect of a Royal wedding. She was definitely talking to Thor, after all it was time he took on more responsibility. Having his much younger brother married first was also not something she would let happen. 

As soon as the dinner was finished she whispered next to him to come to her chambers promptly, her tone was firm enough that he looked concerned for the upcoming lecture. 

Once they were hidden away comfortably in her sitting room she wasted no time getting right to the point. 

“Thor, come sit down. You're not in trouble, yet.” He eyed her warily looking far more like a small child then she had seen in hundreds of years. He did take a seat across from her though. 

“Is this about Loki? Because after what you said I thought it was fine.” The words come out in a jumbled rush and Frigga sighed sitting back in her chair. 

“This is about the fact that your much younger brother will be getting married before you. I have sat by and let you play around for years now Thor, it’s time you settled down.” 

“You want me to get married before Balder?” 

“Yes, wake up! Who do you think your father will choose when his next sleep comes, the son with a wife that sits in court politely everyday or the son that is still acting like a teenager running off to battle whenever he can?” 

“What if I don’t care about being King? It’s all sitting in court and diplomatic meetings with dignitaries.” There was a challenge in his blue eyes and she could feel herself getting frustrated. After spending so much time with Loki she had forgotten just how frustrating he could be.

“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice in the matter, you can however pick someone that will take over the parts of ruling that you find more dull.” 

“So you do want me to marry Loki then?” He looked genuinely surprised.

“Yes, of course. Why do you think I’ve been spending so much time teaching him about court? It’s so that he can take over the areas of ruling that you're not as skilled in.”

“I’m just fine in court, father even said that all my battle strategies were incredibly clever.” 

“And how many other helpful insights did you provide for anything not war related?” He was quiet, clearly thinking desperately for something. After a couple minutes of silence she spoke up once more. “This is exactly my point, you will make a great King, but you need someone that can stand next to you and help you with the things you're not as skilled in. That is one of the most important parts of a successful marriage.”

“So you wish me to marry a man and he will become what, All-Mother? We will be seen as the laughing stock of all the nobles.” 

“No you wouldn’t be marrying a man, you would be marrying one of the heir’s to the Jotunheim throne.” Thor looked appropriately shocked at her words. It was something she had been hiding for quite some time now. She wasn’t even sure if Loki knew seeing as he was disowned upon birth. Odin of course was more than aware and being half giant himself it seemed fitting to carry on the tradition.

“Now take my old engagement ring and go talk to Loki.” Thor still looked shell shocked but he did as he was bid getting up and accepting the ring from her. Frigga wasn’t sure if she was looking forward to Freya’s reaction or Loki’s more. Either way the next couple days would be interesting.


	8. Chapter 8

Loki was admittedly throwing a fit in his own chambers after dinner, Freya’s smug face clear in his mind. It wasn’t even that he wanted to be a part of their family officially as much as it felt like he was being thrown out once more. Never good enough for anything no matter how hard he tried or how clever he became. It didn’t matter that Frigga saw potential in him if no one else did. With that he picked up an especially elaborate wooden chair and tossed it at the door watching as it broke apart into splinters and crashed to the floor.

“Can I come in?” Thor’s voice sounded concerned from the other-side of the door. Perhaps he thought the chair was for him. Loki was in enough of a mood that the next one very well might be. 

“Fine! Come in, why should I care.” Thor’s face appeared from around the door eyeing the destroyed room warily but choosing not to comment on it. 

“I just spoke with my mother and she told me something that I’m not sure you're even aware of.” 

“Oh and what is that?” He crossed his arms glaring up at Thor.

“She said you're one of the heir’s to Jotunheim, is that true?” 

“What difference does it make, it’s not like it mattered there? Why should it matter here?” 

“So you knew then?” 

“Of course I knew I’m not an idiot, you know what it got me? Years of torment and fighting to stay alive. They picked one of my brothers to rule and left me to fend for myself, they don’t care Thor.” With that Thor got down on one knee eyes bright as he pulled out a ring and offered it up to him. Loki was sure he was looking at him like he had grown another head.

“Will you marry me?”

“What the Hel! Did Frigga tell you to ask me?” He knocked the ring out of Thor’s hand sending it across the room. Thor looked surprised as he slowly got back up. 

“So what if she did, isn’t it what you want?” Thor’s voice growled as he stepped closer. 

“Is it what you want, or are you just asking because you found out your much younger brother is getting married?”

Thor at least seemed to think over his question before answering. “I hadn’t really thought about it.” 

Loki cursed under his breath Thor could really be unbearable at times. Obviously he planned on running Asgard and clearly that was what Frigga wanted. He would certainly be a more capable ruler then Balder and Nanna combined. Also it would mean he would finally have a family that at least somewhat cared about him. He certainly wasn’t going to cry over never being forced to live in Jotunheim again. “Well you better go find that damn ring so you can put it on my finger.” 

“You're insufferable, do you know that?” Thor complained but he still bent down on all fours to search for the ring. 

Loki laughed making himself comfortable on the bed, “I’ll make it up to you.” Thor mumbled something Loki couldn’t quite hear but he kept searching through the destroyed room with more purpose. 

When Thor finally found it near the other end of the bedroom Loki was growing impatient. 

He reached out his hand for Thor when he made his way over and felt the gold band slide down his finger. No words of love or adoration followed instead he was pushed backwards into the mattress. 

“What do you want?” Loki whispered in his ear as his nightgown was practically ripped off. 

“You.” Loki pushed him before yanking off all his clothes, Thor let him easily enough. It wasn’t until he shoved him hard back into the mattress that he raised an eyebrow. 

Loki ignored his questioning eyes, instead making himself comfortable on top of him. From this angle he could control everything, and he took advantage running hands down Thor’s chest and pinching both his nipples as he picked up the pace. Thor was quick to grab his hips after that pulling him up and slamming him back down. He kept up the brutal force until Loki was close to the edge then he stopped abruptly grabbing his hard cock instead. That was all it took for him, as he threw his head back and dug his nails into Thor’s chest. The noises that he distantly realized where his own, filled the whole room. When he finally came down Thor was watching him with so much raw affection that he covered his face in his hands. At least after the moment passed Thor resumed his brutal pace, now frantic. Loki only dared to open his eyes once more when he felt Thor release shaking frantically. 

Gingerly he climbed off admiring the red marks all down Thor’s chest, where the blood was already cauterising. 

“Come here.” Thor pulled him in close, burying his face in his dark hair and sighing. Loki let himself be held, still doing his best to ignore the way his heart was frantically beating. 

The next morning Loki woke with a start to the sound of his bedroom door being pushed open, he only had time to wrap the sheet up over his body before Frigga was at the foot of the bed. 

“I see the proposal went over well.”

Next to him Thor stirred sitting up when he noticed his mother in the room. They exchanged a look before Loki buried his face in his hands. 

“What happened to your chest?” 

“You can’t just come barging in here without knocking first.” Thor clearly decided it was better to avoid the question all together. 

“I wasn’t exactly planning on seeing you in Loki’s room now was I?” Loki peaked through his fingers at Frigga, she seemed to be more amused than upset. 

“Now get up we need to talk about what is going to happen today.” Loki eyed Thor, neither of them willing to move from the safety of the blankets. 

“Give us five minutes to get dressed.” Loki finally spoke up still finding it hard to make eye contact with Frigga. There was no way she didn’t know why Thor’s chest was covered in scratches. 

“Five minutes and that’s it, we need to talk about how we're announcing the engagement.” With a flurry of fabric she left the room slamming the door behind her. 

Thor sighed dramatically like a child caught doing something bad before getting up and throwing on his clothes. Loki did his best to follow suit, though his nerves were still a little frayed. When the five minutes were up they were both dressed, though he now realized that his room was still a complete mess. Not only had Frigga caught him in bed with her son but in a room that looked like a fight had happened first. 

“So glad to see you're both finally dressed, now we can get to the announcement.” She pulled one of the not broken chairs and took a seat close to the bed. “Loki, today will be your first day sitting in court and you will appear in your true form. When all the nobles and generals meet you for the first time you will be yourself.” 

“But they will think I’m a monster not fit to rule.” He turned to Thor for support and received none. “This is never going to work.”   
“You will be introduced as the prince you are and you will appear in your true form. You will never win over a kingdom if they don’t really know who you are.” When he remains silent she adds “besides what would happen if your children didn’t appear completely Aesir?” Loki feels bile rise in his throat at the idea of children. Obviously he knows it will be expected of him and that as Thor’s partner they will only truly care about his ability to have them. The children of two princes from different Realms would be seen as a tool by Asgard to bridge a divide just like the wedding of Odin and Freya. The Vanir had remained loyal to them since then, so it was reasonable to assume something similar could happen with Jotunhiem. Of course he knew that was nonsense, they didn’t care where he was no more than they carried that he was still alive. Frigga knew this all too well, which meant she wanted to put on a show and remind everyone of the importance of bloodlines. It didn’t matter what the truth was only that they believed it. 

“Fine, introduce me as the jotunn monster and parade me through the palace so they can all look on in horror.” Thor tried to reach out to him but he jumped up outstretching his arm. “Just get it over with.” Frigga nodded holding his forearm and the seiðr twisted out of his body rushing back to its creator, he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt it leave. When he opened them he was starring down at an indigo forearm. 

“Don’t look so disappointed, you're beautiful like this, besides it’s not as if you couldn’t change your appearance if you chose to. Why do you think I spent so much time teaching you how to control your own seiðr.” He nods to her feet still unwilling to look up and meet her bright blue eyes with his crimson ones. “Now, I will expect you both in court in an hour, understood?”

“Yes mother.” Thor says ushering her out the room and shutting the door with more force than is strictly necessary. 

Loki is still staring determinedly down at his feet when he feels Thor's arms wrap around him from behind. “I think you look lovely like this. And you don’t have to worry about anyone saying anything against you. I won't stand for it.” With that he moves away and Loki shivers at the loss. He still doesn't know what to make of this change in Thor. Just two days ago it felt like a fling and now it feels completely different. 

After Thor leaves for breakfast he sits at his mirror for far too long focusing on his face, it has been years since he saw it like this. Though at least his cheeks are more filled out now. It seems silly to hide behind layers of clothes and makeup when it will be extremely obvious right away that he’s a frost giant. In the end he wears one of the more revealing gowns that shows off as much skin as possible. If he’s going to have people stare he may as well put on a show. 

That is of course exactly what he does when he steps into the room later, some of the less subtle Aesir whisper as he walks by. Frigga and Thor both smile at him encouragingly when he takes the empty seat next to Thor. Freya and Balder are already there both of them eyeing him with suspicion. Though he is happy to notice a level of surprise on Balder’s face. Clearly he was the only one in the royal family that wasn’t able to figure out who Loki was.

Once the whispering finally dies down Frigga stands up and stretches out her arms to get everyone's attention. “I’m sure you’re all wondering who our newest member of court is.” More murmuring follows and Loki does his best to look disinterested. “This is Loki Laufyson.” She pauses for dramatic effect “he will be marrying my son Thor.” Another pause to allow time for gasps. “And as such he will be joining us from now on.” Loki watches Freya’s face shift from bland annoyance to genuine anger.

“And when will the wedding be taking place?” Her tone is clipped, the question being directed at Frigga. For the first time in his years spent in Asgard Loki is tired of the constant bickering between Queens. He can only imagine how Thor and Balder feel, both remain silent exchanging looks as if to say ‘here we go again.’ 

“A date hasn’t been set yet, as you know these kinds of things take time.” Frigga grins at Freya who is sitting even straighter in her chair. 

“Well if that’s it for exciting news, lets actually address the concerns of the Kingdom.” Freya eyes everyone around the large table in turn and when no one speaks up she starts listing off the main topics. Loki finds himself tuning her out, all those lessons with Frigga forgotten when he catches the many dirty looks of the other members of court. He feels like an ugly beast granted access to the high court to be gawked at. Perhaps the revealing gown was a terrible idea. He does his best to hide, pushing deeper into his chair and pinching his hand under the table to distract himself from the dark turn of his thoughts. Next to him Thor notices and reaches out to grasp his hands pulling them apart and holding them tightly in his own. The simple act of reassurance catches him off guard and when he looks up at Thor the same look from the night before greets him. Loki ignores it and the butterflies drowning in his stomach and instead focuses back on the discussion.


	9. Chapter 9

Freya leaves court as soon as she can, Balder trailing behind her. Frigga always manages to aggravate her, today was supposed to be about her son's future wedding and now it was centered on Thor bringing two realms together. Odin would see this as a smart move to make Jotunhiem more obedient to the wishes of Asgard. Obviously she had expected this to happen as soon as she figured out Loki’s parentage but that didn’t make it any more bearable now that it had happened. She would have to run so much damage control talking to her dear husband before he slipped into a deep sleep. 

“Mother, it’s okay I can announce my own engagement later.” Balder shouted at her back. 

“That is not the point. You're too sweet to realize what just happened.” Her words were far sharper than she intended judging from his hurt expression. 

“I understand exactly what happened, mother, Thor fell in love and wished to make it known to everyone. Perhaps my own recent engagement encouraged him to take that finale step. I don’t see why there can’t be two royal weddings.” 

Freya huffed pulling him into a sitting room in order to prevent anyone overhearing her. “This is not about love Balder, this is about who will be King. Thor just showed by picking a jotunn that he wishes to rebuild the relationship between Asgard and Jotunhiem. He is taking the crown from you, don’t you understand, and worst of all he has chosen the person that will bring your death.” She reached out cradling his cheek as her eyes filled with tears.

“Loki hasn’t done anything to me. Sure we disagree on a number of different things but that doesn't mean he’s plotting to have me killed. I know you think my time is nearing an end, but maybe they're just dreams.” 

Freya shook her head leaving Balder behind as she made her way to where she knew Odin would be. He had probably already heard the news and was no doubt expecting her. 

Sure enough he looked up at her when she entered face stoic and resigned to the predicted onslaught. 

“So you heard about Frigga’s announcement?”

“How could I not, we're on the brink of another war and the only thing any of the dignitaries are talking about is Thor’s jotunn bride.” 

“Frigga is probably hopping for it to take place before the war even begins.” 

“And would you object to that?” Odin asks. 

“Of course not, I do however think that the timing is convenient. Balder announces his engagement and then the next day Thor does the same thing. It screams of wanting attention.” 

Odin shakes his head stepping closer to her. “Or maybe he knows he might have to go off to war again soon and wants to marry before doing so. Balder may not have to worry about battle but that has never been the case for Thor.” 

“You and I both know that is because Thor is an extremely gifted warrior while Balder isn’t. I know my son and battle will never be his calling.” 

“And what is? Ruling?” 

“Yes.” He smiles at her response before stepping forward and kissing her. 

“As you know my next long sleep is coming soon and I would like to be awake to see both my son’s weddings. So how about we worry about planning Thor’s wedding first before war undoubtedly breaks out. Then we can worry about Balder and Nanna’s.” 

“And Balder will take over in your absence. Thor would be off in battle and Balder would remain here ruling the kingdom.” Her heart races as she watches her husband closely she feels close, so close to finally convincing him. 

“Yes I think that makes the most sense given the timing. Balder has the potential to be a great King.” 

Freya throws her arms around him kissing him hard, she has waited years for him to decide and to hear that he finally agrees with her makes this whole thing worth it. Being stuck in Asgard doesn't seem so bad when her son will be the King. 

He of course reciprocates eagerly taking her to their private bedchambers. She decides along the way to give him whatever he wants, he has earned it. 

The following day Freya walks on air, the urge to rub her husband's decision in Frigga’s face is hard to resist. But it will be even more satisfying if she finds out in a large crowd of people and has to look pleased with the choice. All those ridiculous years of her plotting to make Thor king gone to waste. She may keep her ridiculous jotunn Loki close but her son will be shipped off to war and Balder will sit on the throne. 

By the time they are all seated at dinner she has to restrain herself from looking to smug. It wouldn’t do for anyone to catch on before Odin has officially announced his decision. Nanna even joins them again taking a seat next to Balder. She is the first to exchange a look with Freya clearly catching on to her excitement. Loki too eyes her warily next to Frigga. 

Odin waits longer than she would like to bring up anything to do with future events, until she can't resist eyeing him over their empty plates. He should tell them so they can all properly prepare. With a nod at her he steps up snapping everyone’s attention to him. 

“As you all know my next sleep is approaching and as such we need to get ready for when it finally happens. I hope to be awake for Thor and Loki’s wedding and to see the army off to battle. Thor will be taking over the battle planning and strategy while I’m asleep. They will need you at the front lines leading them more than ever. It is for these reasons that I think it would be best if Balder took over in my steed here at the palace. He has shown tremendous growth in court and will be a fine King.” The room is deathly silent and Freya can’t resist eyeing everyone around the table. Balder of course looks surprised but excited and Nanna looks thrilled. It is the twin look of shock on Frigga and Loki’s face that she enjoys best. They never thought their ridiculous scheme could fail. 

“Congratulations brother.” Thor stands raising his goblet to Balder before taking a large drink. 

“Thank you.” Balder drinks to Thor before turning to Odin and thanking him as well. “It is a great honour to be chosen to lead Asgard in your absence.” 

“I’m sure you will make me proud.” Odin beams pulling Balder into a hug. 

Everyone is now standing except Frigga, Loki having been dragged up by Thor in his excitement. More mead is brought in and everyone toasts to King Balder. Freya has never felt so elated enjoying every second of Frigga’s misery. It is all the better because Thor seems thrilled that he wasn’t chosen. 

She waits until everyone has made their ways off to bed before she confronts Frigga on her way to her own chambers. 

“I suppose you have a lot of work to do planning Thor and Loki’s wedding? I’m sure it will be a magical event.” Frigga turns sharply hatred etched in her face, there is no reason to hide it now that it’s only the two of them. 

“I do, perhaps you could even assist in the planning.” 

“But of course anything for my stepson.” Freya enjoys the look of disgust at the term stepson, Frigga has never liked hearing it.

“Now if you’ll excuse me I should be getting to bed, lots of work to do tomorrow.” 

“Of course.” Freya steps away practically bouncing to her own chambers. 

That night her nightmare returns even clearer than it ever has been in the past. Loki slips into Balder’s chambers dressed as a servant before pulling a blade and dealing a killing blow. She is stuck watching him slip down to the ground eyes wide and full of pain. The blood pools around his feet as Loki hides the dagger and slips out. It is the look of horror etched in his handsome face that stays with her when she wakes up. 

His end is near and she feels it down to her core. She will have to talk to the guards and make sure they pay extra attention to his private chambers. He will be given a weapon to keep him safe and she will need to talk to him again to warn him properly. If Loki means to sneak in and kill him then he should be ready. 

In the end she arranges to see him in her private garden after court. When she sees him looking happy and very much alive she can’t help but burst into tears. Seeing her in distress he rushes to her holding her close. 

“What is the matter, mother?” 

“I had another dream. Loki came into your room dressed as someone else and killed you. You have to promise me you will be extra careful.” 

“I’m always careful. Nothing is going to happen, we should be celebrating. I’m going to be King soon and Thor will be getting married. These are happy times.” Balder wipes the tears from her cheeks concerned brown eyes trained on her. 

“It’s coming Balder and I need you to promise me that you will be careful, he wants to take what you have. Do you understand? I know you think he is on your side but he isn’t and he never will be.” 

“I promise I wont get close to Loki. Now can we please just enjoy the fact that I was just named future King of Asgard?” 

“Of course sweetie.” Freya does her best to smile as she follows him out of the garden, he is right in the sense that it is better to remain happy. Let Frigga and Loki plot, she will be ready for them when they make their move against her son. There is at least one thing she feels certain of and that is that nothing will happen until after the wedding. Frigga would be a fool to do anything that could jeopardise the wedding happening. It will definitely be afterwards in that small window before Thor is sent off to battle. That way he will still be around to take over. 

Freya spends the rest of the day making the most of the happy air around everyone in the palace before cornering Loki after dinner. She may not know exactly when he will come after her son but perhaps scaring him enough will prevent it from happening. 

“Loki.” Freya calls grabbing his arm and pulling him sharply into a dark corner, she pushes him up against the wall holding him in place. “I know what you're plotting behind my back.”

“I’m not plotting anything.” He grits his teeth at her struggling against her arms. The fact he fails at slipping away makes her feel reassured at Balder’s chances. 

“Just know that if you harm any part of my son your children will face the same fate.” With a finale shove she turns her back on him storming down the hall.


	10. Chapter 10

Frigga spends the next couple weeks meticulously planning out the wedding, it’s the only thing that keeps her distracted from the growing anger. Of course Freya would find some way to convince Odin to pick Balder over Thor. She did her best to talk to him about his choice but once Odin made up his mind there was no changing it. At this point the only way that Thor could be King would be if Balder died. The thought was tempting but she would never stoop so low no matter what Freya believed her capable of. Freya probably thought she was planning some big clever way of killing him with Loki’s help but the truth was that while she was angry she was also resigned to Odin’s choice. If the only way Thor would be named King would be through murder then it wasn’t going to happen. 

Today she found herself helping the maids with the measurements for Loki’s gown. It was long and pure white, more similar to garments seen in Jotunheim then anything a bride in Asgard would wear. Loki was standing so still he might as well have been a statue, he had barely spoken to her since Balder was announced King. She assumed he was merely upset by the decision probably even felt like he had let her down. 

With a tight pull on the corset at the back she started to tie it with deft fingers ignoring the flinch it caused. When she finally stepped back admiring her work in the floor length mirror she couldn’t help but smile. It fit perfectly now. 

“You can leave now, thank you.” She said to the maids. They all headed for the door giggling and sharing looks back at Loki. If he noticed he didn’t react instead focusing all his attention on the mirror. “Loki, how are you feeling? You're not normally so quiet.” 

“I’m sorry, just thinking” he said, finally looking at her. She hated the fact that his face was completely unreadable, perhaps she had taught him too well. 

“About the wedding?” 

“Among other things.” 

“Like Balder being chosen to rule Asgard.” 

“I’ve let you down.” Loki’s voice was barely louder than a whisper making her step closer to hear him. “You don’t have to go through with this wedding now, it hardly matters.” So that was what this was all about he thought she was planning to call off everything because of Odin’s ridiculous choice. 

Carefully she wrapped her arms around him pulling him close and patting his dark hair. “I want you to marry my son Loki. You are supposed to be here, whether you're ruling Asgard or advising Balder, we need you.” He sniffed pulling her close and fitting himself under her chin. The minutes dragged by and she stood there letting him hold her as long as he needed. The next couple weeks would be very busy and any time they could pause for a breath seemed important. 

By the wedding day the entire palace was excited, even those that had initially been sceptical about Loki had given up in order to celebrate. No word had been sent from Jotunheim in regards to the invitations she had sent. Which she wasn’t really surprised by though she was sure their tune would change once there were children. Having children from two princes would be as valuable to Jotunhiem as they would be to Asgard. 

Frigga ended up seated on the grand stage next to Freya who was doing her best to appear happy with the events. Odin was next to her grinning in a way that she hadn’t been expecting, perhaps he was more excited by her choice then he had let on. Balder was of course next to Odin in a position that made it very clear that he had been chosen to take over. This wasn’t something that had been announced publicly yet and as such was causing a stir in the audience. She managed to catch the eye of a number of dignitaries that shared her views on Balder being King. They all looked equally perplexed, though most in the crowd seemed happy even applauding Balder by name as the wedding procession started. Frigga did her best to keep her annoyance at bay as the cheers of Balder's name increased. They only died down with the appearance of Thor and Loki stepping out from either side of the stage. They met in the middle and Frigga couldn’t help but admire her son and the pure love and admiration on his face. He truly was in love with Loki. Even when she had decided to pick a wife for him she had never truly thought he would fall in love with them. To see him now so excited by his future made her feel lighter then she could remember feeling in a long time. 

Loki held himself with grace and barely sparred anyone a second glance, though when Thor reached out and grabbed his hands they shared a look that made him blush. Frigga couldn’t help but smile, even dabbing at her eyes. She never thought seeing the wedding would remind her of her own all those many years ago. Odin hadn’t looked all that different from Thor back then, bright and full of hope for their life together. Next to her Freya tutted as if to remind her of just how that had ended. 

The ceremony ended with a typical kiss and the crowd erupted in cheers. Thor turned and waved at the people Loki looked shell shocked next to him. Probably the first time anyone had cheered for him. The two of them left the stage into the throng of people who immediately swarmed them, Thor dragging Loki the whole way. When the people were so thick around them that she could only see the tops of their heads she stood up and joined in the applause. Odin had already stood to clap with Balder, leaving Freya. Frigga sent her a look and she sighed getting to her feet and joining in. 

All of Asgard spent the rest of the day celebrating their new royal couple in many different feasts all around the city. Only the dignitaries and high ranking soldiers were allowed in the main feasting area with the new couple. The soldiers were the loudest before the feast could start, cheering and waiting to talk to Thor. His years fighting alongside them had made them incredibly loyal to him and very excited for a big feast before riding off for battle. The dignitaries were far more subdued clutching goblets and whispering amongst each other. 

When Odin announced the beginning of the feast everyone seemed to settle in and enjoy the bounty of food laid out. She caught Loki’s eye from his place at the front and he smiled at her. Thor was far too busy chatting with everyone around him to notice her. 

Next to her one of the dignitaries leaned in to be heard over the many voices. “I suppose I should congratulate you on your choice.” 

“No need to make it about me.”

“I’m sure Jotunhiem would have sent someone if they could.” 

“I have no doubt.” Frigga said, voice clipped, she knew where this was going. 

“I guess if things don’t work out we can always use him as a bartering tool.” 

“Now is that anyway to talk during a wedding?” He was definitely fishing for information on how she had found him. It had been a long debated thing at the palace since Loki had arrived back with her from Jotunhiem. They all believed he had been treated like a prince before she had convinced him to come to Asgard with her. If they knew the truth they would laugh and feel that much more superior to frost giants. They treated their own children as monsters so why shouldn’t Asgardians. 

“Always important to think about the future, though you are right. To the new couple.” He lifted his mead to her and she did the same knocking them together and taking a long drink. 

Once the feast was over there was dancing and bets amongst the soldiers on who would kill the most in the upcoming battle. Thor and Loki were dancing around poorly after so many cups of mead. Balder and Nanna having consumed far less were looking graceful in comparison. When Freya dragged Odin to his feet to join in she had to step out for air. It had never really gotten easier to see them together. 

Outside the hall the wind whipped her hair and she could breath freely away from the laughter. There was a strange sense of foreboding falling heavy on her chest as she admired the bright stars. Almost as if this would be the last happy feast for some time. Frigga shook herself out of it, she was sounding too much like Freya for her liking. 

When she rejoined the feast it was to see Thor and Loki leaving to the uproarious cheers of the soldiers. Soon enough everyone followed suit, doing their best to enjoy the rest of the night in a more private manner. It was normally like this after a grand feast especially so close to another battle, everyone wanted to be close to those they loved before saying goodbye. 

Frigga being alone, made herself comfortable in her own chambers. Whatever she felt about the future would be ignored with the rising sun.


	11. Chapter 11

Loki was very drunk as he stumbled along the hallway, without Thor to lean on he probably would have fallen over right outside the great hall. They were both giggling like children until they entered the bedroom to find a large gift basket. Loki’s good mood disappeared as he stepped closer, he didn’t need to read the card to know who had left it. His father had ignored him for years and now he was bestowing gifts on him. He wanted to pick it up and throw it out the window, instead he snatched the card and unfolded it with shaking hands. 

_Loki  
On behalf of the Royal family of Jotunheim we are happy to hear of your wedding and saddened that we were unable to make an appearance. We hope you are in good health and that you are able to fulfil your new role in a way that will be beneficial to your people. We look forward to any upcoming negotiations between Realms in regards to the casket of winters. _

_You know what is expected of you  
Sincerely the Royal Ambassador to Asgard _

Loki tore up the note before throwing it out along with the basket. Thor eyed him from the bed but made no comment. He had already stripped off all his clothes and judging from his obvious arousal was very much ready for the final act of the wedding night. Loki huffed stripping off his own clothes on his way to the bed. He was able to get all of them off until he reached the corset which would not budge. 

“A little help.” He sat on the edge of the bed back to Thor. He got the message and scooted up behind him to untie the laces. After he pulled out every section he placed a kiss on Loki’s back until it was completely undone. Once the stupid thing was on the ground Loki twisted around to kiss him on the mouth enjoying the way his hands came up his ribs pulling him close. It was the first time they had attempted anything with him as a frost giant, and Loki was surprised by just how much hotter Thor felt in comparison. He was like an oven, hands leaving a burning trail of flame everywhere he touched. He couldn’t help but shiver at the sensation, watching his skin darken to a deep purple wherever Thor’s hands had touched. They shared an equally confused look before kissing once more. The combination of alcohol and heat made him dizzy and he laid down on the bed letting Thor do all the work in moving them into a more comfortable position. Once they were in the middle of the bed he climbed on top of Loki kissing everything he could reach. Loki closed his eyes pushing that stupid letter out of his mind and instead focusing on the heat pressing in all around him. He lost himself in the movement of their bodies. The pleasure was overwhelming as Thor moved faster. 

He couldn’t resist holding him close fingers in the long strands of blonde hair as he started to move more frantically. Loki could feel his own release close when Thor came with his name on his lips. That was all it took for him as his vision whited out and his body shook with the aftershocks. When he opened his eyes once more it was to the sight of Thor’s loving face. They shared more kisses until late into the night when Loki was too exhausted to do more. 

The morning arrived as bright and cheerful as ever forcing him to get up and face the day. The note and Thor’s upcoming departure weighed heavily on his mind. He had no idea how long this particular conflict would last, or when they would officially crown Balder the next in line. At least his old family had no idea Balder had been chosen yet, that was made clear in the note. The problem would arise when they did find out. What was the point of any of this if he wasn’t crowned? Years of work only to be scoffed at in court and ignored by Asgardians sounded terrible. They would never look at him with favour, that much he was certain of. Which left what? Playing at being a simpering wife providing heirs that would never be given the chance to rule. He would rather go through with his other option than that. Frigga had made it clear since the day Odin announced Balder as future King that she wanted it to happen as much as he did. One simple cut and it would be over, Thor would be King and Frigga would be happy. The best part would be Freya’s anger, especially if she couldn’t prove it was him. He would just have to wait until Odin had fallen into his sleep so that he wasn’t around. 

He could finally be something more than the failed runt of Laufey, a disappointment to all. It was a way of actually showing his parents just what he was capable of. None of them would be able to do what he could. 

Mind still racing he made his way outside where Odin was giving his speech to the departing soldiers. Thor had left earlier than him and was already there along with Frigga and Balder. They all listened patiently for the end of his speech before hugging Thor goodbye and wishing him luck. Loki made sure to pull Thor as close as possible, a part of him wanting to keep him there forever. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll come back to you soon.” Thor whispered in his ear before kissing him goodbye. “Be good.” He laughed as he made his way off the stage towards the soldiers. They at least looked at Loki with something more than resigned acceptance. 

He stood on the stage until Thor was completely out of site, the lone figure left behind. Eventually Frigga demanded he come inside. 

“I know it’s hard.” Her voice was soft as they made their way to her sitting room for tea. 

It wasn't until they were safely hidden away in her chambers that she spoke up again. “I heard about the gift basket. That was kind of them.” Loki glared at her but otherwise kept his mouth shut. “I know they treated you cruelly Loki but now you will have the chance to show them the importance of working with Asgard. We might even be able to put together a peace treaty.” 

“You think they want a peace treaty, all they care about is making sure they have some way of getting the casket back. They won't be happy when they find out Thor isn’t next in line either.” 

“No it isn’t ideal, but I brought you here for a reason Loki, you're clever and I’m sure you will find a way of making it all work out.” It took a lot of restraint not to show the shock he was feeling. Of course he had expected that she wanted him to kill Balder but somehow hearing her say it made it even more real. 

“Of course, I will do my best.” She beamed at him reaching out and running a hand down his cheek. 

“I think Odin will be needing his rest pretty soon which means there will be a more official announcement in regards to Balder becoming the King within the next couple days.” 

“You want to do something before Odin announces anything?” It wasn’t what he had been expecting but if she thought it was best then he would do it. 

“If you have a good idea I don’t see why not. The kingdom will be looking to you now that you're married to Thor. They will be expecting more from you.” Loki nodded, already planning it out in his mind. Frigga had given him all the tools he needed, now that he could shape shift it would be easy to get Balder alone.

After tea he wandered the palace following Balder as a serving girl. Nothing he did was particularly interesting, going from one meeting to the next. By the time dinner started he had come up with a new plan to sneak into Balder's chambers as something small and unnoticeable. It would be quick that way. 

He was on his way there when he realized in a dark alcove that nothing he tried seemed to work. The seiðr receded the moment he attempted to change his form to anything non human shaped. Confused he made his way back to his own chambers, he would think of something else. Perhaps Frigga would know what was wrong. 

“Loki. What are you doing here?” Balder’s voice sounded from down the hall. 

“Just taking a walk.” He turned around watching Balder approach him with something in his hands. It wasn’t until he got closer that Loki recognised the shape to be that of a dagger. 

“In my wing of the palace?” 

“I didn’t realize I needed permission first. Next time I will be sure to ask.” 

“You know my mother warned me that you would try something soon.” Loki eyed the dagger as it was raised to his throat. “Don’t think for a second that I won't go down without a fight.” 

“It’s not your kingdom Balder, your father hasn't officially announced anything yet.” 

“Is that the plan then, kill me off before anything official has been announced?” The blade was pushed closer nearly touching his throat but Loki stood firm. If he could drag it out just a little bit longer then he could catch Balder completely off guard.

“Maybe.” He hissed watching the blade cut the air where his throat should have been, the image disappearing in a whisper of smoke as he buried a blade of his own in Balder’s back. “Frigga taught me that trick.” Balder fell to his knees looking down at his chest in shock as the blood soaked through his tunic. Loki stepped back pulling the blade out in the process. 

He watched the last breath slip out of Balder's lips as his eyes clouded over seeing something that was still unfathomable to Loki. 

The image burned in his mind as he made his way like a shadow back to his own chambers. He thought he would feel relief instead he felt nothing but disgust. A great King was brought to his knees in a hallway by a runt using magic tricks. If he was the laughing stock of Jotunhiem then Balder was the laughing stock of Asgard.


	12. Chapter 12

Freya woke up from yet another nightmare, this one involving Balder in her arms in a dark hallway. He was lifeless in her arms and the hall was stained with his blood. Her voice rang out echoing down into the dark and yanking her to wakefulness. Odin was already gone, he had been adamant that the announcement would be made in the afternoon so that he could rest that night. Shaking she got to her feet and threw on the first gown she could find. Something was wrong. 

The palace was quiet when she walked as fast as possible to Balder's chambers. She had given him a dagger to use if Loki came near him. He should have had it with him, why did he never take her concerns seriously? 

She was vibrating with adrenaline by the time she reached the hallway to his chambers. One look down the hall was all she needed before she took off running through the blood. She knelt down at the body pulling them into her arms and turning their face towards her. The foggy eyes of her son stared back at her. Her screams echoed down the hall but they were distant in her own ears as she pulled him close. His hair was messy and she tried to fix it, tried to wipe the blood off his face with her drenched sleeve. The time slipped by as she cradled his body in her arms holding him as close as possible. Servants heard her cries and came followed by guards, she found herself being pulled away from him. All her cries and struggling was in vain, Balder was lifted up onto a stretcher and carried away. 

“Let me go. I want to be with him.” Freya yanked herself free of the servants trying to sooth her. 

“Of course your highness.” As soon as they released her she chased after the stretcher. They were bringing him down to the infirmary to be examined. It was clear to her what the cause of his death had been as well as who was responsible. 

The healers tried to convince her to leave but she refused, clutching his hand and whispering sweet words to him as they examined the wound. Freya barely paid any attention to them when they finally announced it was from a short blade. Whoever it was had stabbed him from behind hitting his heart and killing him instantly. She knew they were focusing on his quick death to try and comfort her but she was very much past the point of being consolable. 

Freya remained with Balder until Odin arrived, he looked haggard and heartbroken in a way she had never seen him before. She felt certain that his sleep was going to be happening very soon. 

“Freya, I came as soon as I heard.” Odin said, stepping closer to her. He reached out pulling her into a hug. Her tears returned in ugly sobs as she held him tight. Odin had never been overly affectionate but now he was running his hands down her hair and patting her back. It felt reassuring in a way that nothing else had since she woke up that morning. 

“What are we going to do to the person responsible?” She whispered into his white hair. 

“Well we will have to determine who it was first.” 

Freya pushed him away “I already know who did it! I’ve been warning you about it for years but you never listened!” Rage boiled in her unlike anything she had ever felt before, surely now he believed her. 

“Dreams aren't evidence of guilt.” Odin sounded tired, probably because this was a conversation they had had many times over. 

“It was Loki! You think it’s a coincidence that Balder is killed right after Thor marries him. He knew Balder was about to be named King and wanted the title to go to Thor instead.” Odin merely sighed, looking regretful and so very tired. 

“You are probably correct Freya, but we can’t condemn someone without proof they did it.” 

“The proof is right there. She gestured at Balder to prove her point. “You never listened to me and now he’s dead while that jotunn runt sleeps happily, soon to become the future Queen of Asgard. He is a monster and if you listened to your ancestors at all then you would know that.” 

Odin looks unsteady on his feet reaching for his chest as he sinks down to his knees. The sleep is apparently happening right now. 

“Let’s get you to bed. I can handle this while you're gone.” Odin sighs but leaves with her to his sleeping chambers. 

“You will have to prove he’s guilty first.” He says before the sleep takes hold. She doesn't have the heart to remind him yet again that she already has all the proof she needs. 

After she is sure he is asleep and comfortable she heads straight for Thor’s chambers accompanied by guards. They push their way in but find them empty. Next she leads them to Frigga. 

When they slam the door down they find both Frigga and Loki sipping tea. Frigga looks outraged at their sudden entrance getting to her feet and glaring at Freya. 

“What is the meaning of this?” 

“Balder was killed last night.” Frigga looks surprised but remains still, blocking Loki from the guards. “Now if you step out of the way Frigga, we will be placing Loki under arrest for murder.”

“And what proof do you have against him?” 

“He is the number one suspect, and since I’m in charge now that Odin has slipped into his sleep, I have decided to arrest him.” Freya nodded to the guards and they pushed past Frigga grabbing Loki and pulling him towards the door. 

“Of course as soon as your in-charge you arrest him under false pretences.” Frigga pushes her out of the way before clasping Loki’s hands. “I’m going to figure this out okay.” Loki nods at her. Freya at least appreciates the look of fear in his eyes. He is trying to hide it but she has always been the one person that could see through him. He has been caught and he knows it. 

The guards follow her out the room in rows dragging Loki along with them. She leads them to the throne room. “Notify everyone that their future King is dead and we have caught the killer.” 

“But your highness shouldn’t we interrogate him first?” 

“You can do it on stage, show all of Asgard whether he’s guilty or not.” Loki baulks at her, he looks properly terrified now. She makes sure to saviour it. 

It ends up taking place later in the day right when the sun is starting to slip lower in the sky. A huge crowd is gathered all shrouded in black right up to the stage. Freya feels engulfed in the shared sorrow of all the people of Asgard. Odd that she would feel more connected to them in this than anything that has happened in the past. Finally she knows they are on her side and will follow her lead in bringing justice for Balder. 

When she starts to explain how she found Balder that morning they all collectively gasp, outrage mixing with grief. Freya also makes sure to tell them how Odin has fallen into another deep sleep before bringing up Loki. At the mere mention of his name in connection to Balder the crowd yells, demanding blood. Loki is then dragged out on stage in chains, his blue skin is pale and sick looking. Crimson eyes take in the crowd and their varying looks of disgust. Freya signals to the guards to start their interrogation.

The questions start out simple enough ‘where were you last night?’ and ‘what time did you go to bed?’ before they divulge into outright accusations. The crowd is loving it cheering in all the right places and demanding he be locked away. Freya meanwhile sits in what should have been Balder’s chair and watches calmly. She could very easily have Loki killed instantly for his crimes but that would be too simple. She wants him to feel what she felt when he took her son. No, instead he will be locked away, below the earth where no one will be able to visit him. Let him suffer alone in the dark before starving to death. 

By the time the guard has asked his last question Loki is a mess, close to tears with his hands wrapped tightly around himself. Freya rises from her seat and walks towards him, he watches her warily but remains silent. 

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Freya asked simply. 

“I didn’t do anything to your son. I’m sorry he’s gone.” His performance would convince most, certainly Odin would have fallen for it. Unfortunately for him it’s not up to Odin.

“So you deny that you had anything to do with Balder's death?” 

“The first I heard of his passing was when you informed me this morning.” His voice sounds sure but this close she can see a tear slip down his cheek. Freya steps closer, planning out her next words carefully. Before she can announce the final judgement Frigga appears on stage. She walks as quickly as possible towards Loki ignoring the guards. 

When she reaches them her voice is quiet enough that only the three of them can make out her words. “Alright you’ve had your fun Freya. Now let’s speak on the finale verdict in private. We can tell the people later.” Freya begrudgingly agrees, whatever decision they come to now will have to result in punishment or the people of Asgard will riot. 

Frigga gathers Loki into her arms as Freya walks towards the end of the stage. “Now we will discuss a verdict and announce it later tonight.” Shouts of ‘guilty’ ring out as the three of them make their way off the stage. 

Frigga wont let any of the guards near Loki as they head to the much smaller courtroom. Freya can’t help but watch her gentle hands on his head as she whispers secrets in his ear. If she could she would lock them both up. Frigga is the one that brought Loki here and encouraged him to do it after all. They should both be punished for their crimes. 

Nanna stops them when they are almost at the courtroom, her face is blotchy and red, tears coming in streaks down her cheeks. “How could you! He was the sweetest man and you killed him!” Nanna picks up a vase on a nearby side table and throws it at Loki. It would have hit him right in the face if Frigga hadn’t intercepted it with seiðr. 

“You're going to rot for this!” Nanna yells before storming past all of them. Freya will have to visit her after they come to an agreement on Loki’s punishment. She feels certain that it will be good news at least in that regard. Loki will finally be put behind bars where he belongs. If only it could have happened sooner, then Balder never would have died. What is the point of seeing the future if you can’t control it?


	13. Chapter 13

Frigga had spent most of the day rummaging through Thor and Loki’s chambers unnoticed by the guards. If Loki had anything to do with Balder’s death then the murder weapon would be hidden away somewhere for her to find. In the end it only took an hour to find it. What came after was the hard part. Frigga had never thought it possible, that he would actually be the reason for Balder’s death. What amounted to centuries of Freya worrying about it happening only to watch it come to pass. She had thought Freya was hysterical and foolish focusing on something that was extremely unlikely to happen. And now it had happened because she had brought Loki to the palace and imprinted her own hatred of Freya on him so strongly. She all but gave him the blade and told him where to strike. It didn’t matter that she didn’t want it to happen, her and Freya had all but encouraged it. When Frigga left their chambers it was with the blade hidden away. She might not be able to go back and change what had happened but she could at least make sure that no one ever found out that he was guilty. Let them wonder about it, and feel remorseful for their actions years later. 

By the time she finally managed to make her way to the stage where the impromptu trial of Loki was being held, the crowd was loud. They wanted blood for blood. 

Freya looked so full of hatred that Frigga had to pause before approaching Loki where he was hunched down on the stage. She had never seen Freya like this, and where was Odin surely he should be the one leading the trial? Carefully she made her way on the stage towards Loki, the crowd were so focused on Freya that they made no comment on her approach. 

“Loki, where’s Odin?” 

“He’s fallen into his sleep.” Loki answered. As gently as she could she reached out and pushed his hair back off his face. He looked so small and fragile. She did her best to hold him close as they made their way to a more private area to decide on the finale verdict. It would seem she had arrived at the right time, any longer and his fate would have been decided by Freya alone in front of a ravenous crowd. 

The courtroom was small and dark in comparison to the stage, with a chair in the center for the convicted. Loki was pulled out of her arms and shoved into it. She stepped back taking her place in the gallery with the other dignitaries. As much as she wanted to comfort him, it would be better if they thought she was being fair and neutral in her approach to his trial. 

Freya begrudgingly let the Judge take over. He listed the crimes before turning it back to the court in order to hear them discuss what the outcome should be. Most were unsurprisingly unsympathetic to Loki requiring no evidence other than the Queens dreams. They had never been excited by the idea of a possible alliance with Jotunheim and this was an easy way to destroy it. 

“What is the evidence against Loki, besides your nightmares?” Frigga asked. She was met with silence as the crowd murmured around her. They were all hoping to sentence him to death or imprisonment just to get it over with. Preferably before Thor got word of what was taking place. 

“We have sent guards to search his chambers, but in the meantime we will open questions up to the gallery. You may ask Loki whatever you like.” The Judge sat back in his chair clearly hoping for a show. This was all entertainment for him. 

The questions started up with little to differentiate them from each other. Everyone was demanding Loki’s whereabouts the night before, and then speculating on what weapon had been used to murder Balder. The healer had then informed them that it was a small dagger that had hit his heart cleanly from behind. This of course turned into more disgust at the idea of sneaking up behind someone and killing them while their back was turned. Only cowards did that and of course jotunn runts. Frigga was barely keeping her own anger at bay by the time the guards came back with news of no evidence being found in Loki’s chambers. The blade was gone.

“How can you all agree that Loki did it without proper evidence?” Frigga said. She was proud that her voice still sounded firm. 

“You wanted this from the very beginning! Now you both get what you wanted, Thor will be King and Balder will be but a memory.” Freya shouted at her from across the gallery. 

“I never wanted any of this to happen, and I’m sorry that you could ever possibly believe that I could. I loved Balder, he was a sweet kind man and he didn’t deserve to die in such an awful cowardly way. I implore all of you to use your rational mind in deciding the best course of action. With no proof can any of you truly convict him?” Frigga’s question was met with a resounding yes and the Judge announced the verdict. ‘Guilty.’ Though he would be locked away in a dark cave instead of killed outright, he was royalty after all. 

Frigga followed the guards as they pushed him along to his finale imprisonment. Loki had gone completely white at the verdict but remained silent. Even now he was quiet as if watching his own fate through the eyes of someone else. They all knew that he would only survive without food and water for a couple weeks at the most. 

“Let me speak with him before you lock him away?” Frigga asked the head of the guard as they approached. 

“Fine, but make it quick.” 

She gently took Loki’s arm and sat him down next to her far enough away from the guards that they couldn’t hear her whisper. “It’s going to be okay, I will send word to Thor as soon as I can.” He merely stared at her almost as if he was seeing right through her and into something deeper. 

“I did as you asked. This is why you brought me here isn’t it?” 

“No of course not.” She held back all the accusations on the tip of her tongue. They both knew that he was being punished for something that he had done. 

“Just let me go Frigga.” He pushed himself up and away from her, letting the guards grab him once more and push him into the cave. 

Frigga stood with everyone else as they watched the cave seal itself shut, Loki’s crimson eyes boring into her alone. They followed her as she made her way back to the palace and as she wrote out a note for Thor informing him on what had happened. It would be awhile before it reached him. Hopefully Loki would still be alive when it did. 

Dinner that night was just the two of them, a fact that was so strange. How had it only been a day since they were all seated here? Now the gaps between them felt like a gaping hole revealing their permanent loneliness. They had wrought this on themselves and all because they had wanted their own son to rule so badly that it had blinded them. 

“I’m sorry, Freya.” 

“It’s a little late for that now.” Her voice was bitter but Frigga noticed the twitch of her lips. 

“I should have listened to your concerns. I just never thought Loki would be capable of something like that.” 

“No, I’m sure you didn’t. Perhaps if I had been less harsh on him all the time he wouldn’t have fulfilled my own worst nightmares.” At that Freya broke down in tears, hands hiding her face as her shoulders shook. Frigga pushed her chair out and went to wrap her arms around her. It was the first time she could remember embracing her, and certainly the first time that Freya let her. They ended up clutching each other tightly. Who better to understand the pains of losing a child than another mother. 

When they finally separated Freya looked her in the eye and said “You loved Loki more than Thor didn’t you?” Her question caught Frigga off guard but not nearly as much as the obvious answer. 

“Yes, I believe I did.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter include thoughts of suicide and mentions of miscarriage as well as solitary confinement

Loki circled the entire cave hands outstretched in the dark, there was nothing anywhere except more rock. He had no food and no water and he was certain nobody would be bringing him any. Even his seiðr was absent in this dank place. No matter what he tried to conjure nothing happened, even a simple flame was beyond his power. Clearly this prison was designed for someone with the abilities to do seiðr. For all he knew this place could have been built by Freya as soon as he arrived. Oh how he hated her, almost as much as he hated the fact that he had been caught. Even with no evidence they were all too keen to lock him up. It was an easy way to get rid of him. 

Imprisoned by his own father in Jotunheim and now imprisoned by someone he thought of as a mother in Asgard. He really was a fool. Letting himself think she cared about him in any meaningful way when all she saw was someone she could use and throw away. He played his part and now he was no longer needed. How could he think that providing an heir was what she wanted and not this. It seemed so insane in hindsight. 

The days slipped by outside, and hidden away from him, he was no longer sure just how much time had passed. It could be three days or an entire week, what difference did it make, no one was coming for him now. Even if they did he would never see them through the thick layer of rock. He would die alone in the dark just how he had been raised. 

He started to spend most of his time sleeping, dreaming of better things, places outside of the dark cave. The time he spent awake was always the worst, his stomach was in constant pain and his throat was so dry. He wasn’t sure how many days he had been trapped when he first realized that he was pregnant. Probably the reason why he was unable to shapeshift when he wanted too. Now it took all his energy even faster. He wanted desperately to keep it alive, if only as a fuck you too Freya. Hadn’t she said that she would take his own children from him if he took Balder from her. It seemed like she would be true to her word. 

Better to sleep once more, maybe this time he wouldn’t have to wake up, he was sick of the cave. 

After more endless amounts of time had passed by he started to really lose it. He was never sure if he was lucid anymore or if he merely existed in a place between sleep. When everything was dark it was impossible to know for sure. The corner definitely never used to whisper to him. He tried to ignore it at first but that only worked for so long. They whispered about his failure about how unlovable he was. He deserved to be here with them for taking the life of someone as pure as Balder. They even told him it was better that his child was never born, they would end up just like him after all. 

He would scream at the voice to make it stop or at least to silence it temporarily. He screamed until his voice was sore and long gone and still the voice persisted. 

Eventually he started to wonder if it wouldn’t just be better to end it all now, at least then the voice would be silent. The pain would be gone and he could be at peace. He could leave on his own terms instead of Freya’s. As soon as he thought about ending it all that was all he thought about. The idea of a peaceful end at war with the burning desire to survive. The voice in the corner wanted him to give up. They had seen the other side and knew it was better than this. 

He must have drifted off to sleep again because there was a noise in the darkness that ripped him from it. The voice was silent as he listened, the rocks were the cause of the noise. They were shaking in the distance. He huddled as far away as he could from the noise, pressing his hands to his ears. ‘Please stop, please stop’ he chanted squeezing his eyes shut. The noise only grew, sending rocks down from its source. There was a finale deafening bang of rock shattering and then blinding light. He crawled back into the darkness away from it. Was he dead? Is that why the voice was silent and he could see the light once more? 

“Loki!” His name, though he hadn’t heard it for what felt like an eternity. He recognised the voice though. 

Thor. He couldn’t speak, couldn't even open his eyes against the blinding light. Instead he lifted his head up to the sound of his name. Warm arms wrapped around him pulling him close. He would have screamed at the sudden contact if he still had a voice. It was too much at once, an assault on his senses. He was shaking as Thor stood up with him in his arms, he was grasping him as tightly as he could with his eyes closed. Thor must have carried him outside because he could hear birds again and smell the grass and wildflowers. He was outside. How was he outside? 

Thor murmured sweet things in his ear the entire way back to the palace, so different from the voice in the dark. While they had nothing but hate and fear Thor radiated love and confidence. He held him tighter even though it hurt. 

When he was finally able to open his eyes once more they were inside one of the healing chambers. He was still in Thor’s arms and when he turned to look at him he was greeted by the most blinding smile he had ever seen. 

“I heard about what happened, and came as soon as I could.” He pulled Loki tighter pressing kisses to his cheek and forehead. He must not be aware of everything that had happened if he was this excited to see him. Loki tried to say ‘I killed your brother, you idiot’ but his voice merely croaked in protest. Thor seemed to interpret that as something else because he nodded looking sombre. “I never should have left you. If I had been here I could have kept you and Balder safe.” 

It was at that moment that a healer came in, she smiled at Thor before gesturing to the table. Loki clung to him as he was lowered onto it. He didn’t want Thor to put him down, he had forgotten how nice it was to be held. Now losing it once more seemed all that much worse.

The healer worked in silence scanning everything and clicking her tongue here and there. Loki wondered if she had spotted the baby. Tears welled up in his eyes at the thought, he was sure that it was long gone. He tried everything he could and it hadn’t been good enough. Thor, noticing his tears stepped closer and wiped his eyes with a clean towel.

“Is he okay?” Thor asked and this time even Loki noticed the emotion behind it. 

“He is extremely malnourished and it will take some time for him to get used to loud noises and bright lights after being in the cave for so long. But he should recover just fine.” She paused giving Thor time to take it all in before adding. “I’m afraid there’s more but I would like to talk to the patient in private first, your highness.” Thor eyed Loki before nodding and leaving the room. 

The healer waited until the door was shut before sitting down next to him. “I noticed you were pregnant.” He merely nodded tears falling freely now. “I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do for them now.” Her voice was full of regret but Loki was stuck on her words. Had he lost more than just one child? She seemed to know what he wanted to ask because she said “Two. Would you like me to tell Thor?” 

He was in the darkness again her words fuzzy in his ears. He wasn’t sure how he was able to communicate anything to her only that she left him and must have told Thor. The yells of pure rage that tore through the hall sent a shiver down his spine. Thor knew what he had done and was going to make him pay. 

When he instead stomped down the hall still yelling, Loki realized distantly that it wasn’t him that Thor was after. He closed his eyes drifting off to sleep once more. 

The next time he woke up he was back in his old chambers wrapped in fine silks and clean. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been clean. Thor was still gone, maybe he had smashed Freya’s head in with his hammer. Loki enjoyed the image of her blood soaking the floor and dripping down Thor's hands. 

Whatever he chose to do, no one would be able to argue now that he was King. He could banish her to the hills of the Vanir for all Loki carried. As long as he didn’t have to see her ever again he would be happy. 

The room was darker when Thor finally reappeared. Loki couldn’t remember ever being so relieved to see someone. He seemed less volatile now, clearly he had worked out his rage on someone. 

“You're awake.” Thor smiled at him sitting down on the bed next to him and taking in his current messy appearance. Though he must have looked much better now than he did when he first found him. “I was just talking to Freya and the court about everything that happened while I was away. None of them are to lay a finger on you.” He reached out pushing some of Loki’s dark hair back behind his ear. “If they do anything like that again they will be banished from Asgard. I was thinking we could speak with your father too. I’m sure he would like to know how his son was treated.” There was lightning in Thor’s bright eyes and as tempting as his suggestion was it wasn’t what Loki wanted. 

“No need to bring him into this.” His voice came out rough with disuse and his throat burned afterwards but it was worth it. Thor looked surprised but he agreed easily enough. 

“You should get some more rest now. I promise I'll stay close by.” As if to demonstrate he pulled Loki closer letting him rest his head on his chest. His right hand stroked his hair as he drifted off once more. 

Loki slept for days, that was all he did lately, though now his dreams were full of shadows, that voice had left his waking moments to inhabit his dreams instead. Their never ending whispers of vengeance filling his mind and making his dreams turn to visions of destruction. He brought the end of Asgard and it was glorious. All the Asgardians that had laughed and called him names quaked at his feet begging for mercy. Every member of court was killed and replaced with better more loyal representatives. That was the Asgard he wanted. 

When he did finally wake up he felt miles better, now he could put his plans into action. Thor was missing from their chambers but he was certain he knew where he was. So he slipped on something befitting a Queen and stepped out of the room. There were soldiers outside the door and they stayed near him as he walked towards the throne room. 

He entered the room with a bang causing everyone to turn and stare. Freya and Frigga were sitting together amongst all the other dignitaries, they all gave him a wary look as he made his way up the stairs to where Thor was seated. 

“You're looking well my love.” Thor said smiling up at him. “We were just discussing some changes that will be taking place.” Loki returned his smile taking the seat next to him and eyeing the people below with disdain. They at least had the sense to look nervous. 

“No need to be too harsh on them Thor. A couple years away from Asgard should remind them how things are done here.” Thor nodded, looking at the members of court, clearly deliberating. 

“I think that is fair. I sentence all current members of court to spend five years in banishment. You can return to Asgard after your five years have passed, but none of you will be welcome back to court.” They shared some dark looks amongst themselves but filed out of the throne room without comment. With most of the Asgardians gone all that was left were some guards and soldiers as well as Frigga and Freya. Neither of them were looking pleased with the decision. Loki couldn’t resist smiling at them. They had both thought they could use him and threaten him and now they would have to follow his orders. 

“Now if you will excuse us I would like to have a word with Freya and my mother in private.” The soldiers and guards bowed before stepping out, leaving the four of them in the vast room. “Come closer there’s plenty of room on the stage.” Thor beckoned to the two women. Loki sat in silence watching the scene unfold. It was the first time he realized he was in love. The sudden realisation hit him so hard that he missed the first part of what Thor was saying. “Loki?” They were all looking at him and he was still so dizzy with the sudden conclusion that he couldn’t fathom why. Luckily Thor seemed to catch on and repeated what he had just said, “I haven’t told them what happened to you in the cave. I thought it would be best if you were here when I did.” Loki nodded still not sure what he meant by that. 

“Loki was pregnant when you locked him away.” Thor shouted so loudly that Freya jumped, Frigga clearly more used to her son's outbursts just looked at Loki with regret. 

“We didn’t know. I’m so sorry Loki.” Frigga said trying to step closer to him with her arms outstretched. He pushed her away. The memory of it was still too recent and his throat felt tight, eyes burning at the reminder. 

“Both of the babies are gone because of the choices of the court and as King of Asgard I can’t let that stand. Freya you will return to Vanaheim and your people, when father wakes up we can talk about what happens next. Mother, thank you for sending me the letter as soon as you could. I understand that you did all you could to prevent this from happening.” 

“If it pleases your highness I would like to stay for the burial of my son.” 

“Of course. After Balder’s laid to rest you may say your goodbyes and then be on your way.” Freya bowed before stepping down the stairs and making her way to the door. 

Frigga was still trying to catch Loki’s eye but he ignored her, even as the tears made their way silently down his cheek. He had thought he was prepared for this but the thought of his lost children still weighed him down. Thor, noticing his distress all but gathered him in his arms so that they were both seated on the throne with Loki in his lap. 

“It’s okay Loki, I’m here now. Nothing is going to happen to you.” The words were said with so much love that he reached out holding him tighter. Thor, the King of Asgard loved him and that at least meant something.


	15. Chapter 15

Freya packed everything she could into two carriages, she would be leaving as soon as the funeral was over. She felt no loss at leaving Asgard, only that she would be leaving her son behind. If she could bring him back with her she would. He never even had a chance to see Vanaheim and his other family. The sun would be bright there, summer just underway. If only he could have seen it with her. 

Outside of her chambers the palace felt like a completely different place, no longer full of the bright cheerfulness she had grown accustomed too. Everyone was sombre and she was certain there was more to it than just the upcoming funeral. Balder had taken his love and kindness with him and in his place sat Thor, so very different. He was full of a rage that she had never seen in him before and to have it directed at her made it all the more unsettling. All her allies were long gone leaving Thor’s friends to fill the void. None of them liked her; it was clear in their eyes even though they never raised an accusing voice to her. She had never exactly gotten along with all the Asgardians being a Vanir but it was much worse now. 

Dinner had been especially awful with just the four of them. Thor now sat in Odin’s place with Loki in her old place next to him. That alone made her sick, if he hadn’t demanded she leave she would have done it on her own. There was no place left for her here, Thor had made that perfectly clear when he had first come after her. Battle worn and yelling at her while brandishing his hammer, she had thought he had come to kill her. But no, he was just trying to intimidate her after finding Loki locked away. He refused to listen to her when it came to Loki, he would never accept the truth. Loki had killed his own brother in cold blood and he was protecting him from the consequences. Well they could keep the palace and its broken promises she would be leaving and not even Odin would be able to convince her to return. This wasn’t her home anymore. 

Frigga at least stopped her after their first awkward dinner together with a gentle hand on her arm. “I tried to talk Thor down from his decision. You shouldn’t be forced to leave Asgard.” 

Freya knew in that moment that Frigga had hidden the murder weapon, it would certainly explain her sudden change in attitude. “I can tell that conversation went as well as the one I had with him.” 

“He refuses to listen to anything I have to say. I think I made a grave mistake in bringing Loki here.” Freya could tell she was looking for sympathy and she wasn’t about to give her any. It had been so long since her nightmares had started and brushed off as nothing. Now suddenly Frigga knew she had been right all along and wanted her forgiveness. Well she could take it and shove it, her son was dead because no one listened to her. Frigga got to watch her son rule Asgard with the person she had chosen to rule next to him. Two people she had seen as her own children would be in charge and Freya had nothing. Frigga had won and she was tired of all of it. 

“Don’t expect any forgiveness from me. Be glad for what you still have because I have nothing left.” Frigga left her alone after that.

The day of the funeral was overcast but no rain dared to fall as the procession made their way out towards the water. Balder was laid in a long ship with all his most beloved weapons and books. Thor had insisted on being one of the men to carry it to the shore, despite her wishes. 

Nanna sat with her near the shore clasping her hand tightly and watching behind her dark veil. The two of them were the only ones left that openly talked about Loki’s part in Balder’s death, everyone else having been sent away. Freya was relieved that she had Nanna there with her. 

Farther up the shore Loki sat in the Queens place looking down on everyone as they walked by. It made her sick to see him sitting in her old place, and to take in the spectacle that he had created. This was his doing and he was granted the best seat to see it take place. He took her son from her and he didn’t even look remorseful, merely surveying everyone with a quiet disdain. Next to her Nanna clasped her hand clearly noticing the direction of her gaze. 

It took half an hour for the long ship to come into view but when it did everyone around her broke down in tears. Balder had always been loved by the people, they had hoped as she had that he would be their future King. Now they would be left with a warrior and a master manipulator, what chance did Asgard have for peace with them leading her? 

Carefully the long ship was lowered into the water right in front of her. Before it was sent out she was able to step forward and say her goodbye. Head bowed Freya moved to the ship and laid one of Balder’s favourite flowers in his hands. His face was beautiful when she took in his features for the final time. Nanna ended up reaching out for her to remind her to step back, it was time to push the ship out to sea. 

Freya watched in silence as the ship slipped through the water making its way out to sea. Once it was far enough out a single arrow was shot by Thor to light the ship on fire. It crested in the air hitting its target cleanly and setting the ship ablaze. The crowd fell silent as the ship disappeared below the waves. 

She remained near the shore long past the crowds, eyes watching the dark waves as they moved. Balder was gone, taken to the next Realm and no matter how many times she repeated the image of the long ship in her head it didn’t feel real. 

Long after the sun had dipped low in the sky a hand touched her shoulder causing her to jump back in surprise. Loki stared at her when she turned, his face twisted to look regretful. “I’m so sorry for your loss.” His voice was quiet but the soldiers behind him were close enough to hear. “A mother should never have to say goodbye to her own children.” There was a level of menace behind his words and she stepped back steeling herself. This would be the last time she would have to see him. 

“I’m afraid I must be getting back to the palace in order to finish packing.” Freya inclined her head before making her way back as calmly as possible. She wanted to rip his vile head from his shoulders, coming to her now to rub it in. 

“Safe travels on your journey back to Vanaheim tomorrow.” Loki shouted at her back, she ignored him. 

The following day Freya all but fled the palace, saying goodbye to Nanna and doing her best to avoid Thor and Frigga. She was mostly successful only seeing them from her carriage window as it made its way to the bifrost. The idea of finally being back with her own family filled her with so much relief. They would share her pain and anger. They would look down on the actions of Asgard with disdain and hold her that much closer for having endured it for as long as she did. 

When the bifrost pulled her away she felt peace at finally moving on.


End file.
